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public poll: please answer a question

 
 
Olika
 
Reply Sun 30 Jan, 2011 01:56 pm
Hello! Please answer the following question on the 3 sentences below: do you feel anything special about the sentences you see (perhaps in vocabulary, structure, meaning...) or do they sound absolutely ordinary and do not attract your special attention? I would be especially glad if native English speakers answer.

1) Then he would try it over again, from the beginning, the drum rolling to make you feel how dangerous it was.
2) He went to sleep dreaming mournfully, the expression of his sleeping face one of long weariness, long unhappiness.
3) The girl walked away from the open window, and with her back turned to him, she said, "The trains certainly make a lot of noise.
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Olika
 
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Reply Sun 30 Jan, 2011 11:11 pm
@Olika,
Just in case I will clarify: I think the structure of the following 3 sentences attracts special attention to them because f.ex. "the drum rolling to make you feel how dangerous it was" doesn't seem to be often met in English. So would you lay special emphasis on the meaning of the following sentences because of the characteristic features of their structure?
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aidan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Jan, 2011 11:31 pm
Quote:
1) Then he would try it over again, from the beginning, the drum rolling to make you feel how dangerous it was.

This one attracts my special attention in that its structure is slightly awkward -though not wrong in any way.
It would flow more smoothly if written:
Then he would try it again, from the beginning, the drum-roll underscoring the danger.
Quote:
2) He went to sleep dreaming mournfully, the expression of his sleeping face one of long weariness, long unhappiness.

I love this one - it attracts my special attention in a positive way. I love the phrases, 'long weariness' and 'long unhappiness' precisely because they are not ordinary among native English speakers, but very evocative.
It reminds me of how my elementary school librarian, Mrs. Chang - who was Chinese and for whom English was a second language- would say,
'Children - you have LONG OVAHDUE BOOKS....you must bring them back promptly.'
I loved her.
Quote:
3) The girl walked away from the open window, and with her back turned to him, she said, "The trains certainly make a lot of noise.

Love this one too.


URL: http://able2know.org/topic/167244-1
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