Why should I wait to have sex?

Id' say 14 years is way too young, but if you feel you need to have
sex then you will go ahead, regardless what anyone advices.

Please take precautions, meaning condom and birth control prior to
having sex. How old is your boyfriend?

He's 14 also

just remember, it's hell to be pregnant before you can drive...

be careful out there.

Now there's a post.

its no problem. Just make SURE you have a condom. Dont think for one second that " it cant happen to you" .. good GOD dont think that.

get a condom
talk about it
make sure you guys are going ot be a lone

and your friends and family do not have to know. really. they dont.

Your first time, isnt going to be that good just letting you know

Hey, wait. My first time was fabulous, and it pretty much set me up for liking sex for life, exhilarating.

But I wasn't fourteen.


I was twenty one.

which is why i said

first time wont be so great

Specifically, it's going to hurt like hell.

And why I said mine was.

I don't mean to be proscriptive, but waiting has some good points.

My first time didn't hurt at all.. It was just wonderful. Wonderfully wonderful.

Do I need to add I think fourteen is way too early to deal with all this? Even a kind of petulant trashing of romance?

and I agree.
I think late teens early 20s is a good time to start.
but, we all know .. at 13, 14, 15.. no one can tell you anything. once you make up your mind about something, you pretty much do it.

So instead of swimming upstream, im just giving advice on what to watch for, what to use ..etc..etc. like CJ .

but believe me.
I would rather say wait until about 18 or so before you start.. but that wont be an effective statement.

Now I'm scared.

I wont say you shouldnt either. You sound like an intelligent young woman so maybe it is time for you. it takes time o get to know your partner, to develope the intamacy and trust a woman needs. for most 14 yearold boys the time needed is just not on.

Heres a few negetive points.
He has only half an idea of what to do.
Theres a fair chance you both will feel awkward and nervouse.
It will probably hurt cause your body is still developing and you are nervouse.

so...IF you go ahead.
birth control.
i suggest both the pill AND a condom to prevent STD's.
Time.
Give yourself and your partner lots of time to be alone and enjoy skin, touch, pillow talk and mutual intimacy.
Take time to learn his responses, teach him yours.
Lubricant. you'll be nervouse and your body wont be receptive so a bit of lube can help. You can buy it at the supermarket along with condoms (KY is a brand of lubricant i know). If you are embarrased about buying lube or condoms you probably arnt ready for sex.

Mutual masterbation (feeling up) is a pretty good substitute. You can learn about what you like and show him how and what you like and he can do the same so dont discount this form of intamacy. just rember on sperm in the right place is all it takes. sperm doesnt require penetration.

Have fun but be carefull out there

I think Mame means to suggest that losing your virginity in a physical sense is going to hurt "like hell". Piercing the hymen that is. It doesn't hurt like hell for everybody, especially if you have been doing horse riding or ridden a bike lots. Also your vagina may be a bit tense and tight but if you are relaxed and you take your time (plenty of foreplay to get well dilated - like an hour) and the guy is gentle and takes his time and is attentive to your signals to slow down speed up etc it need not hurt at all really. Use some lube like K-Y Jelly or even Vaseline if you can get it discreetly.

With the right guy at the right time (for you) it wont be a problem but it takes time to learn about yur own body so dont expect too much straight away.

vaseline is a petroleum based product. Only water based lubricants should be used. vaseline may have a deleteriouse (bad) effect on condoms and is not good for a girls insides.

The KY suggestion is a good one though.

This is absolutely right, I apologise for this mistake. It is what my parents used (I discovered) but that was some while ago. Water soluble lubricants like KY Jelly, Glide, Aqualube, saliva, or even water itself are good lubricants to use with condoms. These products or cheaper generic versions are usually sold in the same section of stores where the condoms are.

I'll join the chorus those who say you'd be better off waiting, but if you're
determined to do it, use protection.

You also mentioned your fears of what parents and friends would think and say if
they found out. Now it may be that you'll be careful enough to keep them from
finding out, but you never know. So be prepared to deal with that worst case
scenario. Think about it. Visualize what you will say and do. That will help you
to handle yourself if the truth gets out.

Good luck.