Why cant i just forgive & let go?

Forums: Relationships, Marriage, Love
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Straight to the point..
He cheated on me in the very beginning of our relationship and about 3yrs ago he left me to be with someone else he said "it was something he had to do to get it out of his system."
Now since we've been married i caught him texting someone but i don't know what it was about he deleted the text messages before i could even read them, so it was obviously not good its been about a year since that incident but..

-why do i feel like he is always up to something?
-Why do i keep replaying these incidents in my head?
- Why at times do i just hate him?

I KNOW I'M STUPID FOR TAKING HIM BACK AND I KNOW THAT MAKES HIM THINK ITS OK BUT I BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES. BUT NOW THAT WE'RE MARRIED I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS TEXT MESSAGE INCIDENT AND WONDER IF HE'S UP TO NO GOOD.

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 997 • Replies: 4

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@knockedup,

knockedup wrote:

Straight to the point..

-why do i feel like he is always up to something?

Because there is historical evidence that he is always up to something.

knockedup wrote:

-Why do i keep replaying these incidents in my head?

Because you can see the pattern clearly and haven't made a decision about what to do about it

knockedup wrote:

- Why at times do i just hate him?

Because he is jerking you around and you seem powerless to so something about it.

You need to think about yourself here for a moment. He is clearly ok with being married to you and getting some on the side. It's not going to change at this point since he's been doing it for years now. You can either decide that you are ok with the situation and stop worrying about it other than to use protection during sex or you can leave. I don't think that any other scenarios are going to work out.

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@knockedup,

I've a great deal of sympathy and empathy for you and your situation. No one likes to be in a marriage where you can't feel you can trust your partner - especially when you know he has cheated, LEFT your marriage and acted badly with deleting those texts. This man is STILL NOT acting trustworthy!

However, looking back at your posting history on A2K, you've asked this same question several times and have already received some excellent answers. http://able2know.org/topic/159613-1#post-4306783

What are you doing now about solving or getting some help with this problem? Have you sought out marital counseling?

Don't allow yourself to be a victim IF this man is a serial cheater and has NO RESPECT for you or this marriage. Your married, but he is clearly not !

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Did I read that right - "it's been about a year since that incident."?

What incident? The texting or the cheating?

Anyway . . . you are obsessing about it because he BETRAYED you and continues to BETRAY you.

Betrayal eats away at trust and love.

You need to figure out if he is worth staying around for. Or you are going to spend your entire life obsessing about his behavior.

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@knockedup,

http://www.squidoo.com/recoverdeletedtextmessages

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Why cant i just forgive & let go?

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