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Wed 17 Dec, 2003 05:38 pm
The Question: "How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?"
1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check tomake sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right therrre.....
13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.
True re cats. I have one who I encouraged to use the scratching board by giving her a treat each time she did it. Now she sometimes just touches the board, then looks up at me expectantly for the treat. Very clever.
I've seen TV ads lately for one of the big pet-store chains about a couple going all out for their dog for Xmas. "It's his first one," the wife says cheerily. It's a bit pathetic...
Cats always want to be in charge...but I adore them anyway.
Priceless, c.i. I love it. Perfect descriptions of the personalities of the various breeds. Cats? They rule the world. I wouldn't dare say anything negative about a cat. It could lead to retaliation and retribution.
truth
M. Andrew, and, worst of all, it might lead to REJECTION.
C.I. that was so funny, I'm writing it out (my printer's broken) to read at a party tonight. Thanks. And I read PHILOSOPHERS for truth, ha!.
JL needs a new printer!!!
Corgies (corgis?) will bark to ward off intruders while the human is changing her light bulbs. Pacco's human waits 'til more than one are out before dragging the ladder around.
This way then tend to go out around the same time too. Trained light bulbs....
truth
Osso, of course, "Pacco's human" refers to you?
I went to Circuit City yesterday to buy a new ink cartridge for my printer--at present the cartridge I have in the printer will not print black,only colors--and found that printers are very cheap. No point in fixing them; just replace them. But mine is a bit more expensive "all-in-one" combination (printer, copier, fax, scanner). I never use the fax or the copier, and probably never will, just the scanner when I learn how,and the printer. Maybe I can sell the damn thing and buy an inexpensive printer and scanner. Or maybe I'll pay a computer nerd to show me how. Duh. It's funny how I (and most others) are selectively stupid, a form of learned helplessness. There are some things, I MUST learn to do and some things I MUST not learn to do. Only the unconscious knows why. And I want "it" to keep to to itself--that's why it's unconscious, I guess.
JLN, We all learn by trial and error. Most of mine happens to be error, but I usually 'get it' after a few dozen tries. It really helps to use the instruction manual that comes with the equipment, but I'm just too smart for that!
We all have different minds and stopstarts in them. I used to run laboratories, I am not afraid of technology. But, I was not a natural at that, I guess, because I would learn what I had to when I needed it, as opposed to what I understand are people who explore technology for the sheer fun. So I am very much in a need/figure out mode myself. Even as we speak my new scanner sits quietly, my old one now being at work. I think a tech savvy person showing you how (if you find a patient one) can save lots of trouble, money in the end, and be kind of exhilarating when you get these things.
We should have a a2k nonsavvy get togother, going through basic stuff. For example, I thought I threw out my Adobe Photo Shop for a few months because I couldn't find the installation disc. Turns out that was on the disc that came with that scanner.
Someone posted recently though the old saw that "never buy a tool that does more than one thing" - I think it was farmerman. Meaning combo stuff is usually a weak mix. But, whadda I know....
osso, There's an exception to that rule about not buying combo stuff. It's usually more economical and space saving to buy a combo tv-vcr/dvd. I never use it, but my wife tapes something almost every week.
I have a sony vcr tv myself. I am really reporting what techies seem to say.
I have a scanner which now sits in storage. I bought it, couldn't figure out how to use it (that's AFTER reading the manual), finally disconnected it and it's now gathering dust. I don't even know how to change my avatar except for using one of the ones readily available in the A2K storage bin. But import my own original avatar? Faggitabouit. I have no clue. As long as my printer works and I can print out stuff to save it the old fashined way, I'm content.
Merry Andrew, My photo collection is very extensive, and I'll bet I have something you would like to use on A2K as your avatar. Tell me what you're looking for, and if I have it, I'll let you 'have it' for personal use on A2K.
c.i.
truth
I suspect, Merry Andrew, that as far as technological facility is concerned you and I are of the same subspecies.
c.i., thanks very much for your offer but I would have no idea how to get it from your machine to the space where it belongs. Before I posted the one I use now, I had another avatar, but only because Craven put it there for me at my request.
ROFL @ cat response, so true!
MA, First of all, what kind of photo would you like for your avatar? Let's begin with step #1.
Yes, MA, people can help you through it. There was a good instruction on the Christmas avatar thread, for example.
I am dim on the machinations m'self but it can be done by such as us. If you have a scanned photo on your hard drive somewhere (me, I put it on the desktop where I can see it), you can get a2k profile to take it as an avatar - if it is small enough. If you use one of CI's pics, he can get it small enough for you, so you hardly have to do anything but choose.
If you use one of your own, you might need to use a temporary way station, that puts the pic into a "thumbnail". I use little k's msn site myself, to which I gather a2kers are generally welcome, or I think you can use Raven's realm still. Anyway, you too can have an avatar. Lots of helpers here. Craven of course knows how, but lots of other people can help and save him the attention time, as he is often off on complicated computer machinations.
For the direct line to the avatar tutorial thread, click on anyone's avatar....
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