?Step children - newly married

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I met this guy, it took six weeks for me to even date him, we did and 12 months on we are married as of november 11 this year. He has 2 daughters of which both of them were residing with their mother... all good. Until hubby got a transfer with the RAAF, his youngest girl has now wanted to come live with us. I suggested that while we were still here and with mum just round the corner, that she move in to see how it would out. Well..... she wants it her way or no way, the lies etc...... all of his attention. As for me i am 46 and dont want this mother role. I have been expected to take on this role and do it. This child has behaviour issues along with notce bed wetting and at time throughout the day.. Help I am ready to walk, I married him not his daughter, and we are both wondering why her mother gave her up so readily.??

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 861 • Replies: 4

[+4] - boomerang - 12/05/2010You knew he had kids when you married him, right? And now you're asking him to choose between his daughter and you? No wonder she's wetting the bed and having behavior problems. Sorry, but...

@bluemooska,

You knew he had kids when you married him, right?

And now you're asking him to choose between his daughter and you?

No wonder she's wetting the bed and having behavior problems.

Sorry, but when you marry someone with kids you get the whole package: exwife, kids, and all the baggage of having lived a life.

You're 46. Grow up already.

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@boomerang,

well said

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@bluemooska,

Ready to walk after just a month?Whatever happened to "for better or worse?"
Maybe he's made two mistakes with his marriages.Walk........and give him the chance to be third time lucky.

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How old is this girl?

Daytime AND nightime wetting needs to be evaluated. Her behavior may be connected to that. Diabetes comes to mind. She needs a complete physical.

Yes, you are right to feel a little resentment, IF you were lead to believe that the future with this man did not involve full-time caretaking of his children. Now there is extra pressure on this new marriage.

You two need to go to counseling and get this out on the table. He can't dump this on you alone. The mother's role in this needs to be re-structured. Poor kid, sounds like no one really wants her.

In the meantime, get some help. Hire a teenage girl to help out during the day so it's not all on you. Insist your husband help with a plan.

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?Step children - newly married

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