broke up with him via phone call.

Eek, well it seems that sex is tied up with the rest of the relationship. Not that it shouldn't be, but it seems like it's about half of your paragraph.

So, first, the sex. Premature ejaculation happens. One thing you can try (assuming you may want to salvage things) is to get him to see his doc and make sure it's nothing organic. Assuming it's not, there is going ahead in one way (oral sex, etc.) for his orgasm #1 and then going to the main event. Second time is generally going to be slower than the first.

You're right that there are going to be some positions where he gets off faster than others. The time to talk to him about that is certainly not during mid-thrust -- it's not right before and it's not right afterwards, either. You've gotta pick your moment and not make it tied up too intimately with the act. So, it's Friday afternoon and you've both just had lunch and you're at home -- might be a time to talk.

And for God's sake, instead of framing it as a negative (because this guy is a bit concerned about his performance anyway so framing it negatively is only gonna fuel that), frame it as a positive. E. g. honey, y'know what I really like? I like it when we do cowgirl position (or whatever it is you prefer). Here, lemme show you.

And then do it.

This will frame it as a positive.

You are not only fulfilling your own needs but you are also giving this guy a shot at success.

But this is all assuming you want to salvage the relationship. Do you? That's the ultimate question. The rest of it is window dressing.

I'm confused... did you want to break up with him or not?

If not, you messed up by telling (over the phone no less) that you didn't want to see him anymore. The explanation of why doesn't really matter much.

Whether he feels up to par or whatever is kind of beside the point. You broke up with him and he took you at your word. If you wanted to open a dialogue instead, "I don't want to see you anymore" is not the way to do it.

Misty - you broke up with him (over the phone - why - don't you trust his reactions? ) but then seem to list a whole lot of reasons and rationalizations as to why he does the things he does. Seems the biggest emotion is that you feel sorry for him. Is that his tie to you?

This guy sounds like a loser - face it. He is not a kid anymore, he is on probation, has no job, is insecure and does not satisfy you sexually. (never mind that he gets off too soon, the point is that he is not paying attention to your needs) . And his response was an OK.

I'd say you should give a big sigh of relief to be rid of him and start looking for a better man - or be prepared to be a babysitter for a long time.

Dang Punkey!
Wow, you hit the nail on the head with that one! Used phone because he lives 25 miles from where I had driven twice to and fro the night before last,I was exhausted and outa gas.Oh and yes I agree with you on that loser sounding bit about him,as well as feeling sorry for him too. But the tie ... the really-REAL tie I'd have to say is that corny - indescribable- but what I'd like to explain as being an "eyeballing click" like just looking into his eyeballs-I see who and how he is as a person. ya know what I am saying?

----------U P D A T E-----------
Okay I woke up at six thirty p.m. & from the time I posted this in the latter half of morning hours till waking up- I look at my missed calls from him (p.m. 2:20-2:23-2:42-2:47-2:56-3:09-4:50-4:54-4:58,why did he call 9 times? I had previously offered the night before&on other occasions no-matter what our status is he could count on me to give him a ride to his pobationary classes which are manditorally required for him to be in and be punctual at arriving.
I stayed up till late yesturday morning fretting over this guy after I went over twice because he needed me for a ride then but got there and then he had changed his plans, along with his idea to call me right back,after having asked me to be his chauffeur (if he payed for my gas and time)saying he intendid on staying over-night afterwards to spend time with me but when I got there (since things weren't going as he'd hoped with his friends-he said it would be best for him to use the early portion of the following day, to attend to what he hadn't finished,... idk what it was though). I even called at 2:13 am to remind him I could still go get him if he'd changed his mind, since his meetings are closer to where I live than where he is staying. THIS IS WHY I DUMPED HIM THE WAY I DID. I know it sounds obvious that this guy is just not that into me, but he was -I know he WAS- I swear it ! lol! anyway when i saw he'd called and I slept through it, I half wanted to call and explain and half felt it served him right to not have me beckoned and running to his calls. what do yall think about this crazyness? I know I am stupidly gullable but besides that...whats your take on this guys thinking?

Misty -
Get a puppy.
You can look into its eyes all you want. It will poop and pee on your floor just for a little while until you can train it to do what you want.

Unlike your boyfriend.

You don't owe this guy squat (it's called breaking up for a reason). He can get his own goddammed ride, you are not his chauffeur.

Block his number and his texts, and consider yourself fortunate to be past this.

everything you need to know about his attitude to you and the relationship is summed up in the bolded section

move on

I agree with the others - dump him and keep him dumped. I don't think he's into you at all, and is using you for a ride. He's a big boy and he got himself on probation and should look after his meetings himself.

misty, he's doing something illegal again that's why you don't know what it is:)

Do you see the bad boy image and lost soul in his eyes, the attitude, makes you feel "I know he likes me", to "does he?".

I think you just need validation that he was really into you before you can move on, the confusion is keeping you checking, 2am calling someone because he called you nine times at that time, who is awake at that time? Someone partying, drinking, smoking? It's your way of, oh he rang, he does want me.

Want yourself first, he's going back to jaol trust me, find someone more on your level.

How did this get revived from a year ago? And why?

Have you ever made an error Mame?

That's how and why.........Although I should know better to check the date, 6am wakeup to a diabetic dog can make you miss these things

There are a lot of threads being revived lately...