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Teen Crush

 
 
Reply Sun 31 Oct, 2010 11:17 am
There is this 16 yr old girl that has a crush on my fiance who is 30. She is constantly following him around and talking to him, but never when I am around. I started to tease him about his "little girlfriend" and the next day (she lives down the street from his father where he works as a homehealth aide for his brother) he mentioned it to this girl and her mother that I said that. And you know what her MOTHER said? "well, if you guys do do anything you had better use a condom." When he told me that I was SO pissed! At first when this crush developed I thought it was a little cute/funny cuz this girl isn't a "bad" girl. She is really sweet and pretty much stays to herself. But now that her mother has said that I am very pissed about the whole situation. I am not worried one bit about my fiance doing anything with this girl because she is too young and I know that he would never cheat on me. I am just getting so aggravated and don't know what to do! Help please?!
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Oct, 2010 11:44 am
@3monkies,
It is up to your fiance to make it clear that her adoration might be flattering, but it is inappropriate and not welcome. He should at least try and avoid her without hurting her feelings. Her mother is not helping the situation by making silly remarks. It's best for adult men to stay away from young girls, because even if nothing happens, he might end up accused of bad behavior.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 31 Oct, 2010 07:05 pm
I am curious why your financee mentioned this to the girl and her mother.

As an adult, he needed to distance himself from her ASAP. Instead, he shares the juicy gossip with them and the mother gives an inappropriate response.

Watch how he handles this very closely.
0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Oct, 2010 07:10 pm
@3monkies,
Has it ever occurred to you that the mother was quite possibly being cheeky when she heard this revelation about her daughter?
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Nov, 2010 06:24 am
Out of curiosity, how old are you?
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Nov, 2010 06:27 am
@Ragman,
i'll be 48 in a month and a half, why do you ask?
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Nov, 2010 06:33 am
@djjd62,
sorry, but this question is intended for 3 monkies.
0 Replies
 
3monkies
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Nov, 2010 02:23 pm
I am 26, not that it matters. And I am not sure why he mentioned to them what I had said. He takes his brother outside to sit and the mother comes to talk my fiance and then her daughter tags along........And I don't believe that her mother was being "cheeky" either. I honestly believe that she wouldn't care if her daughter was to sleep with him! Which he WOULD NOT do! For one she is a child and two he would not cheat on me. And I am not just saying that either because I am in "denial" or whatever.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 11:03 am
@3monkies,
I asked because it is relevant for my understanding of the whole picture of thosew involved in your circusmrtances. IMHO, from my admittedly uninformed observation, you seem jealous and/or annoyed by this young teenager.
3monkies
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 03:21 pm
@Ragman,
Well, of course I am annoyed! Wouldn't you be? I am not jealous of her one little bit. My fiance and I have been together almost 9 years and our relationship couldn't be better. It just really pissed me of when her mother said what she did. That is when I got annoyed about it. Cause now I never know what she is going to try now that she pretty much has permission from her mother to have a relationship with my fiance! Or whatever. I am sure you know what I am trying to say! LOL Anyway, my fiance told me last night (after a very small argument about this situation!) that he was going to stop talking to her. I told him that I didn't care if he talks to her occasionally but he needs to make it clear to her that nothing can happen between them. I dunno. We will see how it goes I suppose. I am wondering if I should have a talk to her mother??
Green Witch
 
  3  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 05:01 pm
@3monkies,
No, you should not talk to her mother because her mother obviously doesn't see it your way based on what you told us. If you trust your fiance there should be no problem. It's up to your fiance to keep the relationship innocent. He is the adult, she is the child. If you keep up the jealousy act you are bound to get into fights, so drop it and go with your feelings of trust.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2010 07:37 am
Sorry - the mother's remarks were inappropriate, suggestive and downright border on pimping . . .

How about: "Gee Mary, I understand that little Linda has a girlschool crush on my Fred. Does she have kids her own age to hang out with? I'd be willing to drive her and her friends to the roller rink some day so she could be with them'"

Maybe this young girl needs a healthy female role model to guide her.

0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Nov, 2010 07:56 am
I think you're making a big deal out of nothing, and should just drop it.

Next case.
0 Replies
 
icey1985
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2014 03:30 am
First thing you need to know never and i mean never put your partner on a pedestal one no man is perfect nor is any woman so just in case there are any women dealing with crushes from 15 year old boys you're covered as well as some people take advantage of your trust second he may be enjoying the attention factor in the self esteem of your I'm guessing now husband and third jealousy and paranoia are unsubstantiated for one no man should have to pay for your insecurity. Finally just tell him it bothers you and request he tell the teen he isnt interested because the longer it lingers the more you will have to deal with it. If you dont want to take my suggestions that's on you if nothing has been done by this time enjoy your pedo husband if something has been done then hope it doesn't happen again. That last sentence covered both ways of going about the issue, so don't get offended. Also you should have a resolution post if this issue has been sated just ignoring the girl is not safe u will create a stalker and if this girl still is doing what she was doing now you may need to risk hurting the girl's feelings she must learn the pain of heartbreak think when you were a girl and had a crush and got scorned good luck and hope things go well
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2014 04:54 am
@icey1985,
Icey: Welcome to the forum. All comments in the threads are welcome but sorry to tell you but this one has been inactive for almost 3 years.
In the future you might want to first check the datestamp as the originator has long since left the site.
0 Replies
 
 

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