I used to be a passionate person, but recently I often slip into depressive thinking patterns.

Have you access to counseling? You really need help.

I don't want to sound flippant or dismissive but the impersonal nature of the internet and many forums (until you become a social fixture and make some friends at any particular forum) you most likely can not get the kind of emotional, psychological, mental, and spiritual (perhaps if needed) help you require to get you healthy and out of your funk.

Don't let depression shut you inside of yourself. Take the first step and find help (outside of your house and internet) and onto a therapist's couch and talking to a sympathetic and learned set of ears.

Hi Tsarstepan,

You are right as rain. Because of the impersonal nature of the Internet and many forums, It is highly unlikely that I will get any necessary help from the Internet and it would be better if I talk to a therapist.

Actually I used to be a therapist, is it funny? Right? I know that every feeling or emotion is self created, it is created by our thinking and thoughts. Our feeling or emotion will change when we think differently or we have different thoughts. So the core is to change one's depressive thinking if he has depressive feelings. I used to treat other people successfully. And I had lived a very happy life till recently. Maybe the problem is, I am not motivated to treat myself with my psychotherapeutic skills. I come here just to speak out my feelings to get some relief. Maybe I am an "attention whore" which actually reflects that I feel somewhat lonely in deed.

What you are actually doing is suffering your suicide in the most painful possible fashion... You are feeling your fleeting existence leave your body to die in a puddle of wasted infirmity and insecurity... Forget the passion... Get off your ass and look for action... Be like your brother and do doodly do every day daydily day... Go go go, and you will feel better better better. Work out, work hard, give a care, wash your underwear...Be a man, be a woman, be a child, be wild... Think for yourself, and think for others... Help yourself and help old mothers... But the more you sit and stew in ****, the more you will start to feel like it...

What you said is quite right since doing things can change one's mood/feelings.

Maybe you ought to start trying to use the knowledge you have about therapy, and also what you know about the consequences of thinking in certain ways, and try to apply them to your own life. I know you said that your not motivated to do this, but having the ability to do so is to my mind one of the most powerful tools a person can possess.

Many people seek counselling because they feel helpless, and of course even someone who's been a therapist is not immune from feeling that way. But you have more knowledge than most to help you get out of that rut.

If you really feel that low however, then you probably should try and talk to someone who knows how to help. But I don't think you should rule out our own ability to help yourself.

I'm not a professional however, so my advice is just my advice.

Make a therapist appointment - professional help is always the best.

It's likely that you're not doing what you really want. That the lifestyle you're choosing it's not quite "your" thing. Many people live according to their duties (things they owe to parents, partners, bosses, etc.), but not according to what they really want. Start looking for you really want and do it (as long as it's safe, legal and doesn't harm anyone)