Maybe you ought to start trying to use the knowledge you have about therapy, and also what you know about the consequences of thinking in certain ways, and try to apply them to your own life. I know you said that your not motivated to do this, but having the ability to do so is to my mind one of the most powerful tools a person can possess.
Many people seek counselling because they feel helpless, and of course even someone who's been a therapist is not immune from feeling that way. But you have more knowledge than most to help you get out of that rut.
If you really feel that low however, then you probably should try and talk to someone who knows how to help. But I don't think you should rule out our own ability to help yourself.
I'm not a professional however, so my advice is just my advice.