I remember feeling the same about my mom when she started telling me about her life.
I was floored that she ever had a BOYfriend, stunned into silence knowing she smoked POT , and scared for life to learn she ran away from home as well... My Mommie???? MY MOMMIE?! How dare she have a life beyond me.
What I have learned from her is that she was born in a family of 7 children. Her father was ex military and a full blown alcoholic ( daily drunkard ) by the time she was born.
They were poor, lived on a farm, and couldnt afford the water to supply thier crops enough nourishment to make a big diffrence in the amount of food that hit thier table. Food came from state benefits, anonymous donations to the local church and slumber parties at thier friends.
At the start of the school year, the kids were taken to a local second hand store to pick out one new article of clothing for the year. It was thier choice what they wanted. Dad drank too much to afford anything else.
Her mom was always trying to live up to the 40s-50s unspoken requirement for a house wife. Cook, clean, and not be heard. Always smile as if everything is ok, dont argue or correct the husband and go to church. It makes you a good person.
Having 7 children by the time she was 35 , i dont think she had time to learn how to cope with life, let alone meet thier needs.
As a teenager, my mom began to rebel ( as all do) by running away and staying out late. Her mothers friends started showing unnatural attractions to her by the time she was 12 and her mother told her it was her own fault for wearing her ' good clothes' when she wasnt at school.
This set the pace for a sexually disturbed, active, and destructive teenage life for my mom.
She had me when she was 19 and went back to school. Her father died when she was 13 and her mother always lived with her and relied on her for support. She silently placed all her hopes in my mom and lived vicariously through her.
Being a young woman and wanting her freedom, this bothered my mom.
She moved me, and her sister to Texas in hopes to shake her mom and my dad. It was in Austin she returned to school and began doing things for herself.She accelerated in electronics and quickly became a staple employee at AMD.
Never dealing with her sexual abuse, or destructive behaviors as a result of that abuse, she still attracted less then desirable men. One in particular began abusing her children.
Ripping her life up by the roots, she had to run. This man was not only found not guilty when charges were brought against him for the things he did to her children, he was now WINNING custody of her youngest child.. his son.
With in 24 hours of learning of his victory in the court, she packed her kids and ran to another state. Never looked back.
7 years of fright at the sight of a police officer, she began creating new roots. Secured her financial freedom and lavished love on her children that she never recieved.
Her mother got cancer and lived with her until she died. During that time she was able to mend and nurture her relationship with her and lost a huge part of herself when she finally had to say goodbye to her.
Never dating another man since her sons father, never telling anyone of her ' austin' life, she has gone on to own her own home, car and finally belong as a woman, mother, and neighbor in a new world.
My mom is FABULOUS.
