'me' vs 'I'

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'I told her, 'I would try and keep you company for as long as I can.' That's life. She understood.

But he also said: 'I'm not sure who's going first, whether she or me.'

Should it be 'I' instead of 'me'? If it is 'me', why is it correct?

Thanks in advance.

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@tanguatlay,

You are correct. It should be "I" because it is the subjective, not the objective. The fact the author uses "she," the subjective, should have been a clue to him or her that "me," the objective, is not appropriate.

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whether it is her or it is me.

whether it is she or it is I.

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@tanguatlay,

The problem here is that "whether she or me" is a colloquial phrase so often employed that it has become quite acceptable in everyday speech. Setanta is correct in stating that "she or I" is proper for the reason he gives. However, were you to say "she or me" nobody would fault you.

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Merry Andrew has it right. 'I' is technically correct but 'me' is so widespread that it is acceptable for many situations.

Quote:

But he also said: 'I'm not sure who's going first, whether she or me.'

Should it be 'I' instead of 'me'?

Yes.

Consider:

I'm not sure who's going first, whether she [is going first] or I [am going first].

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Thanks to all of you.

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@Merry Andrew,

"should be"; "quite acceptable"; "is proper".

Lots of contradictory stuff flying around here.

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@tanguatlay,

It is correct. Here's how I check take out the extra person or persons. I'm not sure who's going first, me..... like that it sounds gramatically correct, even though it's a clause. Here are some other cases:
Can my brother and I go outside. (Remove the extra person) "Can I go outside?" is gramatically right. If I were to use me it would not sound right: Can me go outside? See?
That toy belongs to Tina and me. (Remove the extra person) "That toy belongs to me." is gramtically correct. Once again if I were to use I it would not sound righ: That toy belongs to I. Have I made myself clear?

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@JazzMinnie,

Quote:

Grammar Puss

S Pinker

...

Turning to the Democrats, Safire gets on Bill Clinton's case, as he puts it, for asking voters to "give Al Gore and I a chance to bring America back." No one would say [give I a break], because the indirect object of [give] must have objective case. So it should be [give Al Gore and me a chance.]

Probably no "grammatical error" has received as much scorn as "misuse" of pronoun case inside conjunctions (phrases with two parts joined by [and] or [or]). What teenager has not been corrected for saying [Me and Jennifer are going to the mall]? The standard story is that the object pronoun [me] does not belong in subject position -- no one would say [Me is going to the mall] -- so it should be [Jennifer and I]. People tend to misremember the advice as "When in doubt, say 'so-and-so and I', not 'so-and-so and me'," so they unthinkingly overapply it, resulting in hyper-corrected solecisms like [give Al Gore and I a chance] and the even more despised [between you and I].

But if the person on the street is so good at avoiding [Me is going] and [Give I a break], and even former Rhodes Scholars and Ivy League professors can't seem to avoid [Me and Jennifer are going] and [Give Al and I a chance], might it not be the mavens that misunderstand English grammar, not the speakers? The mavens' case about case rests on one assumption: if an entire conjunction phrase has a grammatical feature like subject case, every word inside that phrase has to have that grammatical feature, too. But that is just false.

[Jennifer] is singular; you say [Jennifer is], not [Jennifer are]. The pronoun [She] is singular; you say [She is], not [She are]. But the conjunction [She and Jennifer] is not singular, it's plural; you say [She and Jennifer are], not [She and Jennifer is.] So a conjunction can have a different grammatical number from the pronouns inside it. Why, then, must it have the same grammatical [case] as the pronouns inside it? The answer is that it need not. A conjunction is just not grammatically equivalent to any of its parts. If John and Marsha met, it does not mean that John met and that Marsha met. If voters give Clinton and Gore a chance, they are not giving Gore his own chance, added on to the chance they are giving Clinton; they are giving the entire ticket a chance. So just because [Al Gore and I] is an object that requires object case, it does not mean that is an object that requires object case. By the logic of grammar, the pronoun is free to have any case it wants.

http://pinker.wjh.harvard.edu/articles/media/1994_01_24_thenewrepublic.html

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@JTT,

Is there a problem with me being smart? Sorry for being a "Grammar Puss."

I learned this from my Aunt and I have not forgotten it. You need to remember it when you're in difficult classes.

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@JazzMinnie,

No, it's good to be smart, Minnie.

But you have to be careful about these old canards that you hear from a friend of a friend or an aunt. The test that your aunt told you about is not a valid test to determine pronoun choice. Language is more complicated than that.

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@JTT,

Well it's worked so far hasn't it?

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@JazzMinnie,

Quote:

Well it's worked so far hasn't it?

No, it, like every other prescriptive notion, hasn't worked, Minnie.

The OP asked because ESL/EFLs constantly come across uses that do not match the, largely, prescriptive teachings they have received. The problem with your aunt's test is that it is just a repetition of an ill-conceived notion.

Do you think that the rules governing a singular subject have to be the same as those that govern conjunctions?

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@JTT,

No really. I guess it's like the i before e rule.

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@tanguatlay,

To figure it out in the future, you can simply break up the sentence.

She is going first.
Me am going first.
I am going first.

Pretty clear which is correct.

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@DrewDad,

These old canards die hard, don't they, DD?

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On the other hand, when you knock on the door, and the voice from inside says, "Who's there?", do you say "It is I"? REALLY? Or do you day "It's me"?

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@MontereyJack,

Well I say "Jazie!" And then they open the door.

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@MontereyJack,

MontereyJack wrote:

On the other hand, when you knock on the door, and the voice from inside says, "Who's there?", do you say "It is I"? REALLY? Or do you day "It's me"?

I say "It is Contrex".

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And then they shove a chest up against the other side of the door, don't they, Contrex?

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'me' vs 'I'

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