Define Pretentiousness

I knew a guy who constantly spouted anti-Jewish stuff and he wouldn't let me have my say. He would say 'just a minute!' and carry on as I didn't say anything. He was stupid and could get the blind back up that he pulled down yet he considers his opinions were unreproachable. I knew a retarded person asking all kinds of loaded questions yet his sister told me he was mentally retarded so I ignored him or just said something to placate him and buzzed off. There are retarded people who can say embarrassing things or ask extremely difficult questions without knowing the implications. But if you look at them, if you didn't know they were retarded, you would see an air of "superiority"

Yeah, so that's 'rude'.


And that's oblivious.


Well, I don't really know how to respond to this. I mean, what you notice as an air of 'superiority' might have to be witnessed for anyone else to recognize it and comment. I can't say that I've ever noticed anything that I'd call an air of 'superiority' or arrogance or pretentiousness in people who are cognitively impaired or 'retarded' which usually means an IQ of 70 or less. What I do know is that people who have cognitive impairment can have very rigid views about what is right and/or wrong and how things should be and they can seem very sure of themselves and intractable, but that's usually because they have trouble learning to the point that adaptability and adopting differing points of view are difficult for them.

But I think that if someone is 'stupid' - as in 'lacking intelligence' - many times they're not even aware of what they should 'pretend' to be - as in adopting a different persona that will place them at any sort of an advantage.

But that's just been my experience. Yours may be different.

They know they are deficient yet they carry on pretending they are better.

An actual quote from a former friend...

(pointing at large coffee table book on display in her living room)
"I've never read it. I just keep it there because Daddy's quoted in it."

And these are people who are actually clinically 'retarded' that you're talking about?
I have to say I've never had the experience of anyone who is cognitively impaired acting as if s/he's better than or arrogant or pretentious. But again, that's not to say it doesn't happen I guess.

See, I think the pretentiousness would come in if the book was about something like particle physics (I'm thinking of something I wouldn't read or even begin to try to pretend I could understand) and she said, 'Oh yeah - very interesting book- and you know my father helped write it,' when in fact she HADN'T ever read it and her father only had one quote in it.

The way she came right out and said, 'I've never read it and I just keep it there because my dad has one line in it,' is in my opinion sort of unpretentious and refreshingly honest.

It goes back to the whole issue of pride and pretentiousness. I don't think there's anything wrong with being proud of someone or something - in this case the girl is proud of her Dad.
It's false pride or pride that's not based in reality that smacks of pretentiousness - in other words, 'I am going to pretend that I understand and am interested in things that I have no understanding or interest in just so I can drop a name or two or build my dad up, and by association myself.'

But you say she's a former friend, so maybe there are other instances where her pretentiousness is more pronounced.

I am not sure if they are aware of it as it was his sister who suggested that I ignore him. I guess he is difficult as most stupid people are. They may have an area they know very well and they extrapolate to universal knowledge. The guy who spouts anti-Jewish stuff has been told by his friends that he is stupid but he carries on regardless. He has that same talk syndrome that "littlek's" thread about people who have verbal diarrhea.

Probably it their insecurity as you mentioned earlier so it is a defense mechanism by providing a superior front. They are too stupid to be humble.

Defining pretentiousness is so three-days-ago. I'm beyond bothering with it.