The Great Lightbulb Exchange: Or How Many _____ does it take to change a Lightbulb Global Archive

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, igloos don't have electricity

An excellent start to our global archive My Northern Friend!

How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifteen. Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency, four to comment on "how funny-looking" local lightbulbs are, three to hire a local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to buy postcards in case the pictures don't come out.

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

Two - one to change the light bulb, and one to sue the original light bulb manufacturer for pain and suffering for having to change the light bulb, compensation for lost light, and to set a new legal precedent requiring light bulb manufacturers to state clearly on the packaging that light bulbs may require replacing and that the manufacturer is in no way responsible for lost wages or any other consequential damages as allowed by law.

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
Change a what?

Two very brilliant submissions to the global archive contrex!

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.



Q: How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, but how they got in there is anybody's guess.

How many Texans does it take to change a laht bub?

A couple three ought to do it, them laht bubs is big around here.

Just for Eva....

How many Oklahomans does it take to change a laht bub?

Watt?

How many New Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

How the hell would I know? Ask dys.

Q: How many Australians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twenty-one. One to hold the bulb and twenty men and their partners to BBQ and drink beer.
Ladies please bring a plate.


Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ans : Two--one to say She'll be right mate and one to fetch the beers.

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a government in Italy?

How many Torontonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Fifty-one to change it and the other forty-nine to proclaim it as the greatest event in the history of creation, a world-class screwup!

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one eh!

How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, they hold up the bulb and the world revolves around them.

How many Chinese Communists party officials does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have an entire sweatshop filled with thousands of cheap laborers who get paid a mere $3 a day to do this mindless repetitive job.

Okay that's more painful a joke than it's funny.

• How Many Forum Members Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
1 to move it to the Lighting section after 2 have argued to move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
6 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” … another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is “lamp”
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that “light bulb” is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what supermarkets are offering discounts on brands of light bulbs, and what customer service they expect in a lightbulb shop
4 to say that they’ve been disappointed in Lightbulb Live for the last 4 years
12 to ask why those 4 keep going to Lightbulb Live only to complain about it
1 to break the news about the new limited release light bulb
1 to post that the news was already broken in another thread and start a poll about reading entire threads
12 to post that they shouldn’t mention limited releases because someone might buy them to resell
1 to insist he has every right to buy and sell lightbulbs
1 to obsessively insist that no-one should make profit from lightbulbs on this forum
5 to post that they’ve collected 11 of the limited edition lightbulbs already so might as well get the whole set.
32 to not bother posting because there’s no post count showing anymore
8 to say that their electric company sent them 4 free lightbulbs, when quite clearly they would have preferred the moon on a stick.
6 to post thinly veiled criticisms of forum staff’s management of lightbulbs
15 to post that forum staff can do exactly as they want with their own lightbulbs
6 to pretend they were just asking innocent questions about lightbulb management and didn’t do anything wrong
1 to ask that forum staff backup all mention of lightbulbs so they can write a book about their really interesting life with lightbulbs
11 to reply that it’s not a personal lightbulb anecdote storage facility
7 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL’s
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including pictures, and add “Me too”
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”
13 to say “do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs”
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again...

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This is professional, not geographical....is that ok?


How many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.