Regarding a use of a word

You can apply an adjective to another adjective. For example a wrong adjective, an inappropriate adjective, a missing adjective, a superfluous adjective, a neutral adjective, a loaded adjective. So don't worry.

Thanks for your reply. Hope rest of the sentence is also grammatically correct!

I suggest the following corrections:

"It is a woman's choice whether to take the name of her husband. It would be a generalization to use a loaded adjective like longsuffering for women who do not take the names of their husbands"

In fact, you don't really need the last part at all.

"It is a woman's choice whether to take the name of her husband. It would be a generalization to use a loaded adjective like longsuffering for women who do not."

In any case, longsuffering means "patient", so I wonder why you used it? It is not really the adjective to use. What meaning are you trying to convey?

Thanks a ton for suggesting corrections. Shall make amendments suggested by you.

"In any case, longsuffering means "patient", so I wonder why you used it? It is not really the adjective to use. What meaning are you trying to convey?"

Long-suffering also means "Patiently bearing continual wrongs or trouble" or "Patient endurance of pain or unhappiness".

A woman who marries a man, but refuses to take his name, might be described as "strong-minded", "rebellious", "unconventional" or "defiant" etc, which are nearly opposite in meaning to "patient" and "longsuffering".

I think the question is not how to "describe" such a "woman", it's matter of her "choice". She can choose to take her hubby's name and not to also. But isn't it wrong to label a woman long-suffering just because she does not take her husband's name? That labeling is what I'm countering in a discussion, by mail, with my "liberal-minded" friend who sees not take name as "narrow thinking" etc., etc., you know.

I 've never seen those words next to each other b4.





David

It is a run-on sentence (2 sentences, pretending to be only one).
"It's a woman's choice to take the name of her husband or not.
It'd be generalization and improper to use a loaded adjective/term like long suffering
for women who don't take the names of their husbands"
Note that the husbands do not all share the same name; more than 1 name is involved.

Better simplicity:
"It's a woman's choice to take the name of her husband or not.

It'd be generalization and improper to use a loaded adjective or term
like 'long-suffering' for women who don't take their husbands' names."





David

It is inaccurate, and using that word suggests that the user does not know what "longsuffering" means.

It means patient.

Razer, please don't take David's advice to mean that run on sentences are ungrammatical, for they have nothing to do with grammar. It's merely a matter of style as it relates to punctuation.

Thanks JTT, Contrex and OmSigDAVID for your inputs and help. You replies really help me a lot.

For those disputing the meaning of long-suffering I'd like them to have a look at this: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/long-suffering

But what is she being patient about at this point?

It seems you are enamored with this longsuffering word. It is an obscure word, IMO, and it causes confusion, despite your insistence it means a specific thing. Most readers will probably not share your interpretation.

But, razer, there is no reason to say that a woman who, upon marrying a man, refuses to give up her surname and use his, is "patiently enduring wrongs or difficulties". In fact, she is doing quite the opposite. You really do not understand the word "longsuffering". Furthermore, you are being obstinate about it, and this might affect people's willingness in future to answer your questions.

Chill Contrex My apologies if I've behaved obstinately even inadvertently. Some folks were saying the word means patiently so I just wanted to tell the meaning which I've fathomed by it. The link was just meant for knowledge and to tell the source, not for hurting anybody.

Apropos of you saying "... there is no reason to say that a woman who, upon marrying a man, refuses to give up her surname and use his, is "patiently enduring wrongs or difficulties". In fact, she is doing quite the opposite. " I would like to say its all about the "context" and a bit of "culture". I should have told you that in the beginning but I decided otherwise because I thought westerners wouldn't be able to understand it! Anyway, here it's in a bit detail.

In south Asia, specially in Pakistan and India, what happens is that women don't call their husband by names OUT OF RESPECT, it's a sort of cultural. Though it's not true for very highly educated, modern, working women, but STILL very significant numbers of women don't take name out of respect and culture thingy you know. They call their husbands by desi dialects like "suno", etc., - it means listen to me, pay heed etc.,

And it's not restricted to women alone calling elders, say someone who is 10,20, 30 years elder to you, by name is consider as as ill-mannered too. Dunno about western society but here you will find most people addressing their neighborhood elders as uncle, aunty or in local dialect.

That's what it was all about. Hope now you have got the point.

rolls eyes



I see you know how to patronize.

OK Razer. Here are some "cultural" notes for you. The problem arose because of you used an English phrase in a misleadingly odd way. You referred to women who choose not to "take their husband's name".

You clearly do not know this: except for one specific situation* the phrase "to take" someones name, does not mean to use their name, address them by name, etc.

When a child is adopted, it often "takes" the family name of its adoptive parents. When a wife "takes" her husband's name, this means that, following the marriage, she gives up her former surname and starts using her husband's surname instead. Thus if Mary Brown marries John Smith she becomes Mary Smith.

This is just a custom, not the law, and not every married woman does this. Those who do not are often seen as being daring and unconventional.

I hope you understand the above.

Also, you may be interested to know that "longsuffering" is not really a word that anyone would use for a pejorative label; perhaps "downtrodden" would be better?

* "To take God's name in vain" means "to use the word "God" to swear or exclaim".

"rolls eyes"

lol. It is precisely because of the fear of "rolling eyes" I, a guy from third World, was not telling this story before.

"I see you know how to patronize. "

Patronize ? I think you are stretching it too far. I don't have command over language but still I tried my best to answer your question respectfully. You take things to heart unnecessarily. From what I've learn from books and others is that "superiority complex" can sometimes lead to patronizing feeling, when there is none. Preconceived mindsets, by the way, often "see" beyond the context. After your patronizing comment, I feel, I've to think twice-thrice about "many things". Never thought my honest comment will be understood like this .

"OK Razer. Here are some "cultural" notes for you. The problem arose because of you used an English phrase in a misleadingly odd way. You referred to women who choose not to "take their husband's name".

Despite my hard attempts I fail to find anything "cultural" in it. But anyway thanks for correcting me after all that is why I'm here for. The word "take" has many meanings, I thought it also has one I've in my mind. But I accept it's purely my fault that I didn't look the lexicon and take the "things (read meaning) for granted".

"You clearly do not know this: except for one specific situation* the phrase "to take" someones name, does not mean to use their name, address them by name, etc."

Obviously, I "clearly do not know this". I'm here, as I said, to learn. Thanks for teaching me this.

"Also, you may be interested to know that "longsuffering" is not really a word that anyone would use for a pejorative label; perhaps "downtrodden" would be better?"

Might be better. But the word long-suffering isn't my choice. So why care? My friend used it, I'm just replying.

In some cases, you would be wrong.

I also notice that you take the time to thank people for the answers and discussion. Not everyone is so thoughtful.