24-7 talking

yeah, sacrasm rocks.

This morning she gave her kids a bath 10 feet from my head and gave them squeaky toys to play with. She left the door open. I got out of bed, closed the door, went back to bed. 5 minutes later it was left open again. I went down to make some coffee. "Oh, you're awake - sorry, it was selfish of me to give him a bath while you were still asleep." And within seconds, before I'd finished making my cup of coffee, she left her youngest with me (in effect) (no one else was around). I had to keep him from crawling up the stairs, falling into a pickle bucket of water, eating the dog food, etc. Can't I just have a cup of joe before I am expected to watch a baby?

So, my theory is that this loud, constant speaking is based in a self-centered state induced by being a stress-case and having two young children. I don't think she was always like this.

She is off loading on you.

Why aren't you saying something? That's a self aware woman (I'm concluding after not being sure) who doesn't care how you're affected. I know you are courteous and thoughtful and are just absorbing all this and thinking about it. But the behavior will continue on and on unless people react to it.

There has been some discussion. We're happy to take care of the kids, but we don't like them being thrust on us. I had a conversation with her about my needing my coffee before I can do anything else in general. She knows me well enough to know it takes me some time to wake up.

She was supposed to be using us to some degree. But, the parameters and boundaries were not well established. Now I am gone from there, dog-sitting North of the city. And, this situation won't likely happen the same way ever again.

Oh, good, glad you did. (Sorry for thinking you didn't..)

Yes, well, it didn't have much of an effect.

Where was she when the baby was crawling into everything? I would have called out to her, "Mary! Your baby's getting into trouble! Come quick!" - really, that's quite rude, and I don't care what her personal situation is, you need to ASK people to look after your kids.

The asking part was lacking. And it wasn't just my gripe. I did call out that the baby was climbing the stairs. But, I was the only around.

Grrrr.

Actually, miffed as I am for all of you- including the children - about her, she sounds sort of in trouble.

She seems to be on the brink of snapping, but never does. I don't mean anything horrible by that. But, I always expect her to have some sort of melt down and she doesn't. I think she is one of those people who runs on stress. Or that stress has always been such a part of her life that she has no interest in doing away with it in some way (pharma, time management, etc).

I've always been extremely chary of the once popular effort to "intervene" with people, or gang up. Plus if she has run on stress for years, being called on it could be a "snapper". So, no advice from here (now I say that, after saying earlier that people should react - I was off on that if everyone spoke up, she might.. what?).

It's really her and the husband's business, her psychological health, and you just abutted with it. But, dayum, the baby...

Was it punkey that mentioned stress? Once I start to understand that, then the loudness seems more iffy. On the other hand, maybe she's hard of hearing?
I'm out of my league, but it's a sad situation.

it might be because there is a lack of communication between her and her family members therefore she tries to fill the "comminucation gap" by talking ...hmmm...dunno...maybe you should try talk bout it to her family members.then talk to her bout it as well without hurting her.

What about Robin Williams or George Carlin (both of which were/are very successful mega-talkers...or some reasonable facsimile of)?

I have a much bigger problem with content than volume. If it's a lot of talking but it's funny and/or interesting, fine. Banal blather, no.

Yes, I know what you mean, Thomas. It's more some sort of internal dialogue with themselves, than a conversation with another person. The motive almost seems to be to get those thoughts out of their heads, verbalizing ideas to gain a better understanding for themselves.

I had a woman who talked all the time, just rubbish most of the time. When she realised I was zoning out and couldn't get me to talk she went and found someone else to bug. But my situation was a bit different from yours. I chose not to talk to her because I was able to. Maybe spend less time with her.

We have a clear example in Ican and Okie with their political diarrhea in this forum.