My daughter (the 4 year old) is driving me nuttie!!!

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I know children are picky eaters - however, I'm not of the mind that you tell me what you're going to eat - I'm the mom...and pretty much what I say is what goes - when you're 4 years old...

Here's the sitch:

She was spanked (please, don't talk to me about the spankings..that's now what I'm writing about and you can't change my mind)....so, she was spanked last night because she threw food away (it is NOT the first, second nor third time she's done this - with non-spanking consequences all prior times). She has a field trip tomorrow - her class is going to see Santa Claus & then to the park. I'm chaperoning (or, I would have if Noelle goes)....

In the car this morning, I told her that if she didn't behave today, even though we've already paid, that she wouldn't be going on the fieldtrip. Mr. Onyx didn't agree or disagree...so I'm not sure of his standing right now. Tonight, the lovely little Noelle (or ... Onyxet as Soz might say) chose yet again to toss food in the trash. This is after her plate 'accidentally fell over and dropped all her food on the floor'. I did not spank. I did not yell - I didn't tell her 'go to hell' - oh..sorry...Cat in the Hat moment...

Anyway...would I be totally bad mommying if I kept my word and kept her from the field trip??? My word is my bond - and I hate to take such a big thing away from her...but I'm rather stuck... HeLP PLeaSe ?!?!

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I don't know if i can comment without also commenting on spanking and getting angry about wasting food.

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Does Noelle expect you to keep your word? Is that her experience with you?

(on the food thing - we'll have to get mrs. hamburger to post about some of her 'getting kids to eat' tricks - they're rather effective, if startling at first)

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littlek - make your comment. about wasting good it's one of my biggest pet peeves... i HATE to throw away anything.. leftovers are my friends hahaha.

ehbeth - i generally mete out whatever punishment has been spoken of. I have been known however, to give a choice betwixt various punishments (spanking is always an option hahaha)

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humm.
Am I getting this right
...you spanked her for her throwing out of the food?

Was she behaved the rest of the day?

Perhaps her 'normal' proceedure of throwing out food wasnt what she was concerned about in the behaving business if its a 'normal' occurance for her. Also, if you've spanked her for this, isnt that her punishment for it? I dont know...could be added to the punishment of not behaving I suppose.

Did you also not let her have anything else to eat after this?

When you spoke to her this morning about behaving was it before her daily activities that she would see differently as 'behaving' I guess is what Im looking for.
Also, if you are spanking her now for what seems to be a routine of behavior she is now seeing the light on perhaps, does she understand this or is it a seperate issue for her?
You know, shes 4.

Tough call.

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I think that 4 year olds are just not always that interested in food. My niece is 4. We give her just a little bit of food and if she wants more, we give her more. Sometimes she just eats a few slices of tomatoes and a hotdog without a bun. Are you present when she's eating? If so (I hope someone is present) can't you just take her plate away when she's done and put the leftovers in the fridge? I think, and my niece's pediatrition thinks, that making a big deal about food with a kid your daughter's age is probably not a good idea. If she's healthy don't worry so much about making sure every meal is balanced.

As far as the field trip and the laying down of the law. I think the BEST mommying is to follow through. Be very careful with what you threaten and then follow through with the punishment if a deal is broken.

Have you asked her why she's throwing away her food?

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quinn1 wrote:

humm.
Am I getting this right
...you spanked her for her throwing out of the food?

Was she behaved the rest of the day?

Perhaps her 'normal' proceedure of throwing out food wasnt what she was concerned about in the behaving business if its a 'normal' occurance for her. Also, if you've spanked her for this, isnt that her punishment for it? I dont know...could be added to the punishment of not behaving I suppose.

Did you also not let her have anything else to eat after this?

When you spoke to her this morning about behaving was it before her daily activities that she would see differently as 'behaving' I guess is what Im looking for.
Also, if you are spanking her now for what seems to be a routine of behavior she is now seeing the light on perhaps, does she understand this or is it a seperate issue for her?
You know, shes 4.

Tough call.

1 - she behaved well all day before dinnertime

2 - It's not so much that it's 'normal' for her to toss the eats, but it's something she's done before - when she doesn't want to eat something

3-i haven't spanked her for it. I simply sent her to bed. tossing out food is BAD BEHAVIOR - this she knows, because she tries to be sneaky about it.

4 - I spoke to her about this morning before she had a chance to misbehave. She does indeed know the difference between doing someting that is part of misbehaving and something that is not. She's 4, but she's very smart - she figures out more stuff than I used to give her credit for. She's a very clever little something. she knows that if I find out she's throwing out food, she's going to get a consequence...

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littlek wrote:

I think that 4 year olds are just not always that interested in food. My niece is 4. We give her just a little bit of food and if she wants more, we give her more. Sometimes she just eats a few slices of tomatoes and a hotdog without a bun. Are you present when she's eating? If so (I hope someone is present) can't you just take her plate away when she's done and put the leftovers in the fridge? I think, and my niece's pediatrition thinks, that making a big deal about food with a kid your daughter's age is probably not a good idea. If she's healthy don't worry so much about making sure every meal is balanced.

As far as the field trip and the laying down of the law. I think the BEST mommying is to follow through. Be very careful with what you threaten and then follow through with the punishment if a deal is broken.

Have you asked her why she's throwing away her food?

she doesn't want to eat vegetables. i give her minimal portions because i realize (and her pedi told me lol) that her belly is really quite small. I think I will give her a different consequence....I really do want her to go, and I spent 1.5 hours on her hair..... i'm going to take away computer time for the weekend...that will really put a bee up her 4 year old butt.....

what of this?

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Sounds ok, but isn't the computer educational as well as fun? Maybe no TV?

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no tv sounds good......but she is not as concerned about the tv as she is about the pc.... decisions decisions.

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Following through i think is more important than allowing her to go, a little dissappoinment now is better than having to work all over from the beginning later on and her hoping you'll give in but, Im tough.
yes, at 4 she probably could grasp the concept a bit if you sat her down and explained to her that you werent giving in but, still punishing her and rewarding her for the rest of the day.

My godkids when they were that age ate almost nothing. For periods of like 6 months at a time they only ate plain hot dogs, then it was peanut butter and jelly, then plain spaghetti, then jello....it comes with the territory of the age. It can be frustrating when they are changing over from one to another but, once you find it...thats golden. And that whole not being the best Mom in the world syndrome so many moms go through trying to get the kids to eat the right foods...oiy. Then yeah, they talk to the pediatrician and realize its normal. Sounds like your most of the way there already..fine job!

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she wants to live on ravioli and cheese sandwiches (with mayonaise...gotta have the mayo or she just CAN'T eat it)

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Hey....two options...and you know them both...you are lucky!

Smile

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I think you should stick to the original threat out of principal. Your little girl will probably never forget it and that knowledge will come in handy for her for years to come, hopefully. It's gonna be tough, tho. Is there any way to stick to your guns but make it up to her later?
I was a fussy, finicky eater as a kid and sneakily threw away alot of food. I'd wrap as much of my dinner as possible in a napkin and then ask to go to the bathroom, flushing the food down the toilet. Boy did my mother give me a swat when she realized what I was doing.
This is a battle that will probably go on between the two of you for a long, long time.

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Nothing wrong with ravioli or cheese sandwiches. I lived on carrots for several months when I was a bit younger than your little nuttie-maker. the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet turned orange. The doc didn't panic and I moved on to more food groups later.

I think that you told her the consequence, and now YOU need to live with it. Quinn's right on this, I think.

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i'd rather give her a no'something' consequence as this will be her first fieldtrip - she's in pre-k....i think i'm going to take away the tv...

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Onyxelle....I have the same situation on my hands with a 9 year old and a 5 year old.

When we eat dinner, if its something they aren't quite fond of....as in healthy food, opposed to hamburgers and french fries, I see that they get "full" a lot quicker than normally. Or they try to convince me that they are, but its funny to me....they claim fullness and then 20 minutes later want something to eat, which results in the famous speech... "Don't come crying for something to eat in a little bit cause you didn't eat your supper." Which results in a late snack.

I hate food waste too and I too have spanked the 5 year old for throwing away food, just becuase he didn't like it, or thought I wasn't looking....how could I not notice it...I'm not blind.

I don't see anything wrong with her getting a spanking over it, its something you have repeatedly told her not to do.....but I would probably cave on the outting and let her go.

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And I'm willing to bet that the bigger a deal Onyx makes of it, the longer the battle will rage.

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That's it. My mother thought the world was coming to an end when I wouldn't eat. She admitted that I embarrassed her being so skinny and it looked like she didn't feed me. Laughing

Perhaps if she had just left it alone, I would've eventually come around but dinner became a war zone for her and I and it went on for years.

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I'm with littlek on this.

Good look to onyxelle and the onyxlet! :-D

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My daughter (the 4 year old) is driving me nuttie!!!

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