no, dlowan, it was perfect. He was cremated in his bomber jacket and boots. We drove him out to the field in a tractor and the honor guard was there. The part that I had to deal with the county and local government to place a portion of his ashes on a site that wsnt consecrated and in non compliance with township ordinance, which was his wish, --this entire procedure would have tickled him immensely, as he was pretty much of an anarchist
. It was , however just a token bravesite or , more correctly a cremain spreading site, a place for us all to gather in accordance with his wishes. He hated anything to do with cemetaries and monuments. (One time he asked me to take him down to visit "The Wall" in DC, He found a rifle company up there,and he was inconsolable for the entire trip home. But for our services in our pasture , his kids and girlfriend, an ex and his mom were among the mourners. Having done all the proprieties, we are now taking the bulk of his ashes to his two children who want them . So we are taking a little trip this weekend to Ohio and Northern Pa. where its snowing like crazy.All this ceremony was a pre plan wish that I got nailed with at some point a few summers ago. Its almost becoming a line out of Robert Service.
I realize , on re- reading my post, I sound rather selfish in that , by my tone,I was posting how this affects me, I wish there were more to have mourned him by just knowing him.
HE could never have been disliked, he had a great big Irish attitude that would have allowed him to be a great politician , if it didnt alrteady interefere with his primary goal in life, which was apparently,g etting drunk as often as he could manage in his busy schedule.he was one of those incomplete genius who always had time to read anything but little time for actual education. School always Intereferd with his education, he loved to say.But he supported me and was always proud for mew and my family, and secretly , he had me distribute his own kids college money so they could benefit of education. He wasnt a fool, just stubborn. He had the best , almost formal knowledge of so many outdoor skills that he always dreamed of being a mountain man in the early 1800s, that would have been his element. He never did have much respect for technology as weve defined it. "Your damn cell phone cant even let them know where to find your body" He said just a few days ago on reflecting about a piece of news
He could always be a great pain in the ass because I was forever beginning his visits (which had gotten more frequent over the years), by either picking him up somewhere in Central or Western PA where his piece of crap cars were forever breaking down because ohio, where he lived most of the year has ,apparently, never heard of safety inspections for vehicles, or , a few times when I had to bail him out because of all his dUIs would catch up with him whenever a PA trooper pulled him over for No headlights or some other dumb infraction
Thank you all for. listening and just being out there to hear my little lines. Were gonna go away this weekend and follow his girlfriend back to a town along the Ohio W Va border and then up to Butler Pa with his kids divvying him up among his perpetual caregivers. I hope to hell they dont stick im on the fireplace mantel with all the other chochkies. im keeping my portion of him in a little chest in the TV room. He loved watching Norm Abrams.
As I thought about it last night, I guess thats how i want to be treated. I want to be cremated and then have my ashes dumped into my favorite spot, The bay of Fundy on an incoming tide. Nothing elaborate ,
I cant think of anything more to say here, Ive gotta start rousing evrybody to start our little journey and were expecting up to 10 inches of snow until western Pa. So, "A promise made is a debt unpaid"
Sorry about the editing , stuff is just flooding into my head and Im trying to write it as fast as I remember, and im sitting here crying like a big pussy.
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farmerman- I read your post, and became overwhelmed with emotion. I am at a loss for words that might comfort you. After what you have shared, anything that I would say would sound hollow.
All I can say, is that I am sorry that you lost such an important part of your life. May the sweet memories of your dear friend sustain you through this troubling time.
Oh, Farmer!
I am really sorry.
Ha had a good friend in you farmer, I'm honoured to read your heart and share your grief.
Peace
well, the weather has really stymied our journey . Now weve got a house full of people and they cant get going home till we see whether the storm lets us loose by Sunday .
Hmmm im provise.
farmerman - thank you for sharing your story of friendship with us. It really meant a lot.
Better check the weather channel. Are you trapped in the Gap?
Farmerman, I feel your pain. I'm sure everyone on this thread has lost someone close to them and knows how you're feeling right now.
I know I have.
It ain't easy.
Hang in there, brother.
farmerman, tears were running down my face as I read your love-filled words about your friend.
Your friend must be appreciating how you handled his funeral. I hope the same can be done for me. If you have read any Edward Abbey, you might know that he was buried under a saguaro cactus--the words on his headstone, "No Comment."
Losing friends, IMO, is the only thing about getting older that really sucks.
It sure does Diane. I lost my very best and dear friend of 26 years last year. The hurt can't even be put into words.
Diane, farmerman's friend was reminding me of edward abbey.
What Phoenix and others have said.
Farmerman, your words have touched me deeper than I wanted to be touched tonight. Your heartfelt thoughts about this strong friend of yours have reached a lot of us, reminding us of friends and loved ones of our own.
dlowan's poem brought tears to my eyes. Bless you both, and the friends you make in this life.
Farmerman, your tribute touched my heart. Thanks, and my deepest sympathies to you and your friends loved ones.
Diane, coincidences abound that I even forgot that the three "Amigos" biked out to Home in 1996 to attend Abbeys historical marker dedication. I just broke from a major client contract where I disagreed as to the least intrusive mining methods at a site in S America and they wanted to continue with placer washing. I was feeling really down when my two friends got together and had me go on a "Run" to watch this dedication. At the time I had no idea who Abbey even was . I then read the Appalachia work and liked his connection with his roots.
Looks like our trip to the west is gonna be delayed a day till major road clearing is done. The hump of snow, about 10 to 12 inches worth is in the area between us and Gettysburg.
The spirit in the house is lightening a little with his kids and mom and girlfriend still here (his ex took off last evening in the snow)
Its all beautiful and peaceful here now, sounds muffled like when you havecotton in your ear, except its really that way outside. Accoustics in a big snow make an entire sound deadened world thats hard to
describe, it just makes you aware of the close and the minute. Lots of sound muffled birds hollering for seed. My wifes been a bird feeder for years so we have this flock that carries on like we owe them. I guess we just get on with living , we took time out to celebrate a life thats gone, now he has to understand that we are needed in our own manufactured ecosystem .
On a note thats very atypical of me---you guys have been a real blessing. Dont worry, I can use that word without selling out my agnostic soul. But I really appreciate the wishes and the advice, even Diddies , it gave me a smile I didnt think was in me .
...So sorry Farmer, I have yet to bury a friend
of a similar age though I was at a funeral of
a workmate who was a couple of decades older
than me a few weeks ago, ouch.....What I find rather beautiful about today's attitude, is that despite the pain, contemporary services remind us to celebrate the LIFE of those we have loved and not focus on the loss....This might seem trite, but I believe it is very healthy.....How wonderful
and privileged you were to all enjoy true freindship.....
Shepaints, celebrate life--yes!
Well we are back home . came back by rt 70 through Western Md, a favorite biking road of ours the snow on the ground and the sunset was his last hug to us. I wanted to blow off tomorrow and head south into West Virginia and put some ashes on Spruce Knob but my wife said no , I have things to do and hed understand that this wasnt an official "run".
Glad you made it back home safely.
