Why do I feel lonely after having sex?

@CalamityJane,

Quote:

That would imply that there was someone else beforehand. I never disclose
that information - I am like a virgin, every time!

now that would totally throw me. the "never disclose" is fine, it's not relevant but the "I am like a virgin" would bring me to the thought of stopping right there, I would consider "virginity" a negative. Whereas the "come better with you than anyone else" I would consider funny and would definitely add a lightness and humour.

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@medorose,

no love just lust

Quote:

Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals.....shall inherit the kingdom of God" ...... And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God". (I Corin. 6:9-11)

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@sffsa,

What?

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@sffsa,

sffsa wrote:

no love just lust
Quote:
Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals.....shall inherit the kingdom of God" ...... And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God". (I Corin. 6:9-11)

Oh well.

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@ossobuco,

Seriously, on loneliness after sex, that is the human condition.
Connection varies, but you are never of a piece, whatever the fantasy.

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@medorose,

medorose wrote:

I am a 23 year old female and have had about 9 new sexual partners in the last year. After the first time of having sex with someone new, I tend to feel lonely after that person leaves. Is there a physiological explanation? A psychological explanation? Is this my mind's way of telling me that I should be looking for a more long-term relationship or that I should become more comfortable with a person before sleeping with them?

I would say there is just a part of you that might be wanting a little more and that is the part that is feeling the loneliness. It's a funny thing though because the mood can change to just the opposite as well if the person is trying to spend too much time with you. You can feel that you want more time alone. It seems the human condition is never truly ever satisfied completely because a new mindset always arises. Just be content with what you have even if it is not completely what you want, because sometimes what you want ends up being something you end up disliking.

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@Krumple,

true

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@Krumple,

medorose wrote:

I am a 23 year old female and have had about 9 new sexual partners in the last year. After the first time of having sex with someone new, I tend to feel lonely after that person leaves. Is there a physiological explanation? A psychological explanation? Is this my mind's way of telling me that I should be looking for a more long-term relationship or that I should become more comfortable with a person before sleeping with them?

This is common enough that there is a term for it, "post coital triste". You could Google that.

It's an awful letdown after sex. If they're leaving straight away, choose some nicer partners.

1 Reply

(hi, spike)

1 Reply

@spikepipsqueak,

spikepipsqueak wrote:

This is common enough that there is a term for it, "post coital triste". You could Google that.

It's an awful letdown after sex. If they're leaving straight away, choose some nicer partners.

Yes I am familiar with the term, however; I personally do not consider it such a bad thing. If a person does not like it, that is fine, but not everyone considers this to be a negative thing or something that needs to be solved.

1 Reply

@Krumple,

That's true, too.

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@ossobuco,

Hi osso :wave:

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@medorose,

nice because our body felling so lazy

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It's like to need to make yourself feel fulfilled, but you realize that sex doesn't do it. Same as a shopoholic.

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@phillipa,

"That you can lose yourself,
Everything. All boundaries. All time.
That two bodies can become so mixed up
That you don't know who's who or what's what,
And just when the sweet confusion is so intense
You think you're going to die
You kind of do, leaving you alone in your separate body
But the one you love is still there.
That's the miracle.
You can go to heaven and come back alive.
Go back anytime you want with the one you love."

When Robin Williams said that in Bicentennial Man over the weekend I thought of this thread

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I just came across this very sad thread. It's all about connection, as I believe BBB said. Men can also feel lonely after sex, especially if the lover leaves afterwards. It's nice if he or she wants to stay all night and go out with you for breakfast the next day.
If your lover only wants your bod for a momentary satisfaction, that's fine but expect not to feel deeply satisfied--and lonliness is its manifestation.
Part of the sadness of this thread was my revisit with Dys's (Bob's) wisdom.

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I just came across this very sad thread. It's all about connection, as I believe BBB said. Men can also feel lonely after sex, especially if the lover leaves afterwards. It's nice if he or she wants to stay all night and go out with you for breakfast the next day.
If your lover only wants your bod for a momentary satisfaction, that's fine but expect not to feel deeply satisfied--and lonliness is its manifestation.
Part of the sadness of this thread was my revisit with Dys's (Bob's) wisdom.

0 Replies

Why do I feel lonely after having sex?

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