I can dive, but only from the low board. Of course, once I reach the surface, I'm out of breath and no good at life saving. Plus there's that treading water business I'm no good at.
We could talk about flotation devices. Ice cubes in tea, for example. Or those things under the seat in airplanes. I just know I'd fumble with those, no matter how many times I read the unclear directions (different devices for different types of planes). Some of my pals were stewardesses (yes, dammit, stewardesses) and understood those contraptions.