One not wanting to relocate/other wanting to

Yeah - he did grow up in area where it gets HOT in the summer 100 degrees is normal so he likes the heat.

If a move like this becomes inevitable, there are things you can do to lessen the separation.

Get a web cam, you can talk to you dad face to face every day if you want.
With the increased income, plus the lower cost of living, perhaps you can budget for regular flights up there.
Really, with cell phone, emails with attached pictures and videos, texts, live web cams, it is "almost like being there"

ehbeth's right about the kids, they might not mind the move as much as you think.

Thanks, but actully I work in the financial industrial. No he is fully aware of the situation. I keep him updated. I was trying to point out that I don't nag him that he isn't making money as I know that would hurt him.

This 6 month mention was an update for him. I do take care of the financial side of things, but let him know where we stand financially.

That's a good argument, Link.

I'm not too worried about the kids either way. I do know that my younger daughter has recently said she wouldn't want to move (meaning to another state). I know they would adjust fine.

The move isn't necessary and wouldn't be (unless work of all a sudden came to me and said either I move or I will be laid off). It would make things easier financially in some ways. It is more of my husband really liked the fact that we could buy a big house in a nice neighborhood without blowing the bank. He also mentions cost of college is less in TX, weather, closer commute.

Yes we may be able to fly back and forth but still you only have so much vacation time.

If I recall correctly, Linkat works in the financial sector.

Edit: nemmind.

I know I have good arguments - that isn't the problem. It is reaction (as I know how he reacts to these sorts of things). He will blow up, get angry, even bully a little and overreact rather than remain calm and discuss.

Then the next day he will say he is sorry and most often see my point of view once the anger subsides. I am trying to avoid the inevidable blowup.

Slight tangent - a NYTimes article to day on colleges and universities in Texas -
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/21/deep-in-the-heart-of-texas/?hp

How old are the kids?

letting him know is one thing , but actually setting aside sufficient time to dicuss things and plan TOGETHER is another thing .
the " you do what you think is right " is also not an answer " to financial " planning - you gotta do it TOGETHER !!!

( sorry , if it sounds like i'm preaching )
( the family that plans together , stays together )

I think we can accept that their financial planning is working for them, if they've got enough short-term investments to cover a $2,500 shortfall each month for months at a time.

7 and 11

The way we handle works for us. Not all families are the same. We discuss the larger type thoughts (how much to save/spend/spend on what/future financial plans, etc). Other than that I take care of it and report back - he doesn't want any more knowledge than that.

thanks - yeah I think with a BS and MA in economics, I'm good.

Personally, I feel strongly that kids should enter High School, at least, with their cohort if at all possible. Sounds like you've got a couple of years before that's an issue, though.

My family moved from Nebraska to Texas when I was 10. I adapted fine, but my 14-year old brother had some difficulty.

Chances are if we stay where we are - my girls will be going to high school with possibly no one they know. Their school only goes until 8th grade. Then we don't know where they will go. As they are in a small private school there is a good chance they could attend some where in high school where they do not know anyone. If they go public, they could know some girls they play sports with.

Sounds like it might be unavoidable...

No guarantee that the kids would want to go to college in Texas.



Right, and that adds expenses too. (Plane tickets x 4 = not cheap.)

Well I could just not tell him (about the potential job posting that is)

Okay, my initial reaction is to not tell him about the position in Texas and say you don't want to move. I agree with DD that it's a bit of an extreme reaction to the financial situation. He should just start actively looking for a paying job. I don't think one person (and their tirade) should ever be able to dictate the situation for everyone else... it's his failing (and face it, it IS a failing if he's not bringing in any money), not yours. If he had a good job, he'd never suggest this. And what happens if he can't work in Tx? Move to Honduras where it's even cheaper?