I recently entered into a relationship where the girl is highly affectionate to people around her, whether they are male or female. She likes to cuddle with men, hug, flirt, hold hands, and sometimes kiss their cheek or peck lips on the off chance. I am very much the opposite and usually consider those things to be intimate and something you only do with your partner.
For me, it'd depend on how genuine you perceived her motives for doing these things to be. She likes to flirt with males and females and in your presence? I wouldn't call that being 'free spirited'.
How do the males and females react when she does these things?
The reason I ask is because my sister has a neighbor who I have come to regard as a friend because I see her every time I visit my sister about three or four times a year. I really like this woman- but on occasion she has behaved in exactly the fashion you describe - even to me- another woman. This woman is smart, interesting to talk to, and I would have said simply open, warm, friendly and what I would call free-spirited until the time I saw her really drunk and she came and sat in my lap and told her husband to take a picture of her kissing me (in front of our KIDS and her husband at a neighborhood barbecue).
She was stroking my hair and saying, 'Everytime I see you, I like you more...' and I was like, 'O-kay...let's back up a minute here...'
I'm a very openly affectionate person - within reason - but that made me very uncomfortable so after she got off my lap I said to my sister, 'Wow - what was THAT all about?'
She said that this woman had been sexually abused as a child and had inappropriate boundaries as far as those things went.
So now I just sort of pat her hand and then hold it when she comes near me as a way to forestall any unwanted petting.
But now that I understand the back story, we get along great!
When a free spirit and a conservative clash, does the conservative have the right to set any limitations on the free spirit's usual act? Or should he box it up and learn to not care?
I don't know how the conservative deals with it - but as a free spirit when I start to feel constricted and constrained by someone- I go somewhere else. I can't stand to feel boxed in by someone else's view of what is appropriate for me to do, and exactly how and when.
Talk with her about it now - because you'll probably end up bugging her as much as she's obviously bugging you.
Maybe you guys should find other partners.