Quote:joefromchicago wrote:Wiyaka: It is rare indeed that someone responds to one of my posts almost six months after I submit it, and it is only by chance that I stopped in to look at the Spirituality and Religion Forum today. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw your post criticizing me for taking a position that I would never have espoused.
Joe,
Again I'll publicly apologize for my misunderstanding of you meaning of the word "positioning. Please check my latest posting in that thread.
Quote:I hope that you have reached a place in your life, Wiyaka, where you are free to abandon the socially imposed pretenses and be happy with who you truly are.
Oh yes, I'm happier now than when I ever was as a man. It's even better than my first parachute jump. That was exhilarating, believe me. Now, I control my future, with Sam as my partner. This life is easier now than 'Nam was, contrary to what people may think.
When I came out, it was like exploding the house with only the closet doorframe and door left standing in the rubble. I literally opened it and gave it a heel kick and watched it collapse into the debris with a cloud of dust. Within a week, all of my family knew: Mom, my stepdad, my three brothers, my four sisters, their families and even aunts and uncles. I've always done things in an understated way, you understnd.
When I accepted fully, I could actually feel the weight of 44 years of denying to myself and others who I really am. No more lies! What freedom!!!!! I never was much of a liar anyway, always trying to remember who I told what was tiring and confusing. Unlike some trans women, I don't deny my past, since those things I experienced are what helped me become the person I am.
I love being asked if I'm a man or a woman. I always answer "Yes." and try to educate them a bit about people like myself. I also like wearing my army jungle fatigue jacket, with all of the "Christmas tree" type decorations on it and my long black velvet dress in pow wow grand entries. Vets that don't know me, ask when and where I was in Vietnam and the specific units. It makes them understand that we're everywhere, unfortunately most in scarey closets.
Do I worry about social constraints? Not for myself. Sam and I are often cautioned, "You be careful traveling. Remember Matthew Shepard." We travel to Wyoming often and other western states and have had no trouble. However, I don't care for the attitude found in northern Idaho. We treat people the way we'd like to be treated and it occassionaly surprises them in a good way. So there aren't problems.
Since we follow a traditional Lakota lifestyle, we don't have much time for pow wows, but we travel thousands of miles each year to Gatherings and Ceremonies. We tell people to meet and learn from
their[QUOTE] own Elders, not us. This has allowed us to take part in and sometimes do Ceremony in other Native people's home territories, both here in the US and Canada.
When I came out in 1999, I had no idea how my life would change or the impact I'd have on others. We're constantly invited to other areas for Ceremonies or just to visit. Living our lives as we do, Sam and I are changing the world, one person or more at a time. We aren't unlocking doors, merely re-opening those that society has closed on people for years.
Am I afraid of the future? No, we're running to grab the possiblities! We're only concerned about the possible constitutional amendments, regarding same-sex marriages. But since we're moving to Pine Ridge rez soon, that's not going to be an issue. You see, Winkte (Literally translated to mean, "neither man nor woman")are considered male even if they have sexual reversal surgery (SRS) by the Lakota. So, we'll get married once we get settled out there. However, I feel sorry for others that have to deal with this.
I should tell you that many Lakota feel that there is a Winkte "curse", that a Winkte can put on them for disrespect. I don't believe in cursing people, but have given it long and hard thought. I finally came up with a "teaching curse", if you like. Understand that we believe that what we say or do, good or bad, comes back four or sevenfold like Karma. Four and seven are our sacred numbers. That's important to this. If anyone should try to be sooooo rude, I would wish them to live as a Winkte for 28 days (4x7 :wink: ), then return to their natural self. It would teach them a lesson about acceptance and tolerance. It wouldn't hurt me at all, already being Winkte. 
I firmly believe that one might need a compass and topographical map to get to the point.
