White Evangelicals Stun World With Beautiful Open-Mindedness
Mark Morford
The public is evenly divided on whether gays and lesbians can alter their sexual orientation, with white evangelicals the most likely to think homosexuals can change, a new poll found. A majority of Americans, 55 percent, say they feel that homosexuality is a sin, while 33 percent do not.
Nine in 10 highly committed white evangelicals and nearly three-quarters of black Protestants say homosexual behavior is sinful, whereas 10 out of 10, or fully 100 percent of people who can't help but see most all white evangelicals as staggeringly sad imbecilic homophobic dust-bunnies on the giant Tibetan rug of time, and who have no freaking idea what the hell love and sex and divine energy are all about, and all 100 percent wonder why the hell anyone asks evangelicals anything at all in the first place, as if you're going to get an interesting or otherwise subtle answer.
"Gay peoples are sodomized by Satan and reek of the demon seed and have souls dripping with the hot lava hellfire avarice and guilty phlegm!" screeched a white evangelical preacher from somewhere very flat and very white and very corn-fielded and very overall brownish-gray and very uncertain of why the hell anyone cares what it thinks about anything.
"I masturbate to Kylie Minogue videos and drink bathtub gin out of a rusty measuring cup and love the smell of Polo by Ralph Lauren on my penis!" he raged on. "Holy crap, did I just say that out loud?"
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2003/11/18/national1013EST0524.DTL&nl=fix