My first wife - Don't make me tell. It's just not worth it.
here's an ex-tale. the week I was married, I had no less than 4 or 5 ex bf's come to my home and want to 'give it another go'..... WHAT THE HELL???
Sure, that makes sense. One can't get a date unless one is already dating. Or a job unless one has a job. Or a meal in a restaurant, in the old days when I used to smoke, unless one lights up.
i'm mighty glad you gave that habit up :-)
I was married to Gertrude for five years but I sensed the romance was starting to fizzle when she repeatedly came after me with a chain saw. I'd duck and dodge behind everything available as she would wave the screaming chainsaw and do everything in her power to dismember me.
Afterwards she would cry and tell me she was just kidding. I was kind of gullible so I let it go.
Then one night I woke up when I felt something brush my ear. I looked up just in time. Gertrude had a funnel placed in my ear and she was starting to pour boiling oil into the funnel. I screamed and rolled to the side and the oil caught part of my shoulder and caused severe burns. As I was thrashing around on the bed, clutching my shoulder and screaming in pain, she came at me with an axe. I again managed to avert the blows and dove out the window. She grabbed the shotgun and started shooting at me as I ran toward the swamp. I still have a few bb's imbedded in my ass. The next morning I filed for divorce.
Gertrude cried and told me she had been kidding again and wanted another chance. I stood firm and filed the papers.
I still see her around town and we are friendly. We smile and wave at each other. She married my cousin, Joe Birdidnick, so I guess it's a good thing we remain civil.
You certainly must have irritated her, Gustav!
got an 11 year old with the flu. Okay, I don't think the boy should travel to spend the weekend with us when he's sick. Mom agrees.
But my 14 year old has something he wants to do in my town Friday night... something I think he should do as well. So I get the older boy after work (1 hour there, 1 hour back at rush hour) and I'll bring him back Saturday. Check in on 11 year old. He look like a wrung out dishrag. His mom should be home in an hour, he's okay with that... well? What do I do? Stick to the plan...
Two hours late we get a call... Where's Mom? Kid is pretty much in tears... back in the car... 45 minutes there (not rush hour) She's there. She had called him (and me) five minutes after I had left.
She had left a sick kid home to go to an awards banquet for a company she hasn't worked for in two years...!
