Ex - Tales.

oh gawd, yes I do. But I can't 'print' most of it here.

Who, Douchebagetha?

Actually, I don't "hate" any of my exes really, but don't really see them around. I only really got dumped once anyway, so I could care less.
One girl I've ran into a few times recently though. Cool thing is, last two times I saw her out, I was with a different girl, both hotter than her.

I have dated a couple of certifiable head cases though. One girl I dated for a short time(I was in a slump, she was nowhere near Slappy standards normally), was probably on 40 medications, and was divorced....to a guy she married after two months of knowing him. She told me she never felt more for a guy than she did about me, blah blah....THE KICKER(one of my favorite Slappy stories), we were out at a bar one night, having some beers, watching Lil' Joe Cook at the Cantab in Cambridge. She says to me "do you want me as your girlfriend?" After I basically told her to go play in the street, she just stood there for a few minutes, not saying anything. Then she looks at me, turns her wrist over, and shows me a scar. "I tried to kill myself once. I slit my wrist. But I'm ok now, I just got off Prozac two months ago."
This was a very creepy moment for me. Trying not to laugh at her, I dragged her out of the bar, took her home, listening to her cry all the way home, banged her, made her drive me to work the next day(my car was broken down), and never spoke to her since.

Another girl, who is an "ex," I dated for about 5 months or so. Supposedly, which I didn't know at the time, she told my friends she thought I was "the one," and she kept a wedding book under her bed where she pasted pictures of wedding dresses, cake, ect. She was in college at the time, and I'm friends with a girl who was her roomate. She(my friend) told me after I punted the girl, my ex routinely visited the "crisis center" on campus, and that she didn't take it too well. Guess even her mom cried because her parents loved me...Oh, the kicker on that one? I was at her house one night after dinner, and I had to leave because I'm allergic to cats, and I was getting sick. She says, "well what would you do if we moved in together?" I basically told her that would never happen, then she started crying. Then I told her I'll never fall in love with her, so it's better if we just ended it. At that point of the relationship, I was waiting for a window of opportunity to end it. I cheated on this girl anyway, I wasn't too crazy about her.
Next day she calls me to apologize, and asked me if "everything was ok." Again, trying not to laugh, I had to tell her to pound sand AGAIN. I felt bad for about 3 minutes.

This is how I know it's all lies, lies, lies:



Are you still with that one girl you talked about?

Madison is crawling with exes, and for the longest time when we lived there E.G. would say, "If I see him, I'll kill him" about one specific guy. So we were on a city bus, and lo and behold, there was that ex at the back of the bus when E.G. and I got on. He (the ex) started to make "hi!" motions and I made urgent head/ eye motions for him to stay right the hell where he was. (I'd told him about the see him/ kill him thing already.) So he stood there peevishly at the back of the bus until E.G. and I got off. Heh.

They didn't actually meet until E.G. and I had been together about three years, despite much path-crossing, and the eventual meeting was decidedly frosty. I think there was a refusal of a handshake, that sort of thing. Men.

Slappy, haven't you realized by now that you always give yourself away? Soz picked up on it immediately. Go ahead and play the tough guy--but know that most of us just don't buy it.

The man I love has an ex that I would shoot if I had the chance. He's way too nice which is why the bitch is still alive. (He won't tell me where she lives.)

Not enough time, but plenty of tales...I shall return.

Ah yes, that's the Slappy we all know and love.

I truly admire people who can remain friends with their exes. That has rarely been the case for me. If I had liked them enough to stay friends with them, we might still have been together. (Sheesh, what a revoltin' thought.)

Best move I ever made was not having kids with my ex-husband. I haven't seen him since the day I walked out 20-something years ago. I have no idea where he is and don't want to know. Hope I never see him again. I learned a lot the hard way with him, and I made a much better choice the next time around. Current hubby is an absolute gem.

Just heard that my hubby's ex wants to move to the same city that we're in. Horrors! She's loony and will drive her eldest son, who's engaged and lives here as well, to moving away, taking our potential grandkids with him. My husband says it'll never happen, she'll never get herself together long enough to make such a move but just the idea of it makes my blood run cold.

I am friends with my ex. As anybody who has paid attention here knows.

I also actually closetohate my ex and will cheerfully elaborate reasons. But then again, it is not his fault he is him. My explanation for getting along is complex, some kind of foundation instinct on my part. I am pretty careful about destroying remnants, such as they are, of twenty two years in the middle of my life.. beginning, apparently, of his.

Plus, he may be a using cad, but I apparently let him be a using cad. Things are complex, and I don't need layers of venom when I need to go on with life. Neither does he.
But, he is not my most admired person.

I heard a story third hand about a guy who used to date a gal named Campell. Years later he married someone else, and his wife was so jealous she wouldn't have a can of Campell's soup in the house.

My wife and I have been married since '79. My ex's are so far away (both in time and geographically) that it hasn't come up.

I put up a saucer swing under a tree in the tiny back yard for the kids...

Years later, bus asked me 'Why did you put the swing over the only bare spot on the lawn?'

I dont have an ex Actually I do, but he is the sweetest guy arnd !! He just loves it when I go out on a date or something.....

One of my exes is still one of my best friends. Another one left me with some unpaid bills from our shared house (she refused to pay half) so I gave her mother's address to the debt-collectors. She also shagged one of my friends on the day that she dumped me, and I didn't find out for a year. Bitch.

Hell yea. Damn bitchez ain't nothin' but ho's and skanks.

slap -you know your tales simply put into perspective the reality of how insane it is that the earth is populated...for both sides. Thanks for the reminder.

A few exboyfriends I still talk to/run into on occassion and wouldnt hesitate to have nice things to say about for the most part. There always is however some reason an ex is an ex and a great many times it aint pretty. Those infuriating exes where all the good stories are...just nothing good can come of that re hashing...its done, its over...thank goodness. Besides, Mom said if you have nothing good to say..dont say anything at all...and I try really hard with that one.

I think my ex story is the best ... and I'm ashamed to say it.

When my ex and I would have an argument, he would get on the phone, call his ex wife and children, and tell them "what a mistake he made" ... now tell me, is that not the ultimate insult?

At this point in time, over 20 years later, I can honestly say, "yes, it was the biggest mistake I ever made ..."

the next ice age= me and the ex meeting at a starbucks.

Starwars?