"A World Pandemic has broken out, caused by wide-spread E-coli infestation originating from public transportation & other public meeting spaces, where countless male youths' buttucks have directly come in contact with seating surfaces and thus caused unexpected outbreaks of E-coli".
Major western Cities have expressed their grave embarrasment and Most media outlets are too ashamed to report this story. Indeed, heavy contaminated Cities refuse to point any one out because it is, as one local police Department Captain commented to the Press, "This is the most stupifyingly stupid illness. I don't even want to talk about it to my own kids". Firehouses everywhere are hosing down streets homeless and Provincial Politians alike and no one is speaking out about the outragious stupid circumstances they are all mutually embroiled in.
A Russian diplomat is quoting as saying, "This may explain what the old USSR was always experiencing, and yet it too was covered up in the media." One source has attested to several Chinese diplomats saying the same thing.
Disease Control Centers world wide are conferring Today in the Haugue and reports have surfaced that past pandemics may have been linked to the use of Mini-skirts while sitting in Resturants the world over. School children from Kalamazoo to Timbuktu are now being taught a nursery rhyme that warns "Not to put stray bits of Corn Kernels in their mouths".
Authorities in Rio DeGenero Brasil, have said, in anticipation of the next Olympic games, that they will ban the use of Thongs in all public spaces, or at the least, they plan to ban Thongs in Cinema Theatres and Trains and Hospital waiting rooms.