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Sun 11 Jan, 2009 10:09 pm
I was raised in a religious atmosphere, and eternal punishment for those who reject Christ was preached constantly.
My child, who is 12, has for months now been anxious about death, ceasing to exist, losing everything in life, and so on.
when she was very young, she once asked me when Granpa was coming back.
Her maternal Grandma had told her that he was with Jesus.
I gave her a story about death being the end of our present existence, and our bodies go on to pushing up the daisies and feeding the butterflies and so on, and so things go !
That satisfied her for maybe 7 years, but the fears have been strong lately, then subsiding somewhat, but she still thinks about it every day.
She tries to imagine infinity and the universe ending or not ending, and various other puzzles too.
One question is this: are these fears absorbed mainly from the religious family and society or are these fears something that any reasoning person would experience even if raised in a secular world ?
My fears continued for a very long time, and still are there, though I do not dwell on them as much as at some periods of my life. I rationalize that the religions I know contain false information, and so even if there is an afterlife or if there is a soul, I have not the information to make any rational decisions regarding them other than to reject those notions that others have presented.
My more pressing question is this: what kind of support can I give her ? Or is there any to give ?
thanks for any ideas !
@memester,
I guess you could try to avert her mind from the inevitability of death with some aspects of the beauty of life. The depressed or depressing would have you think that life is the build up to death, but really it's those times you rub your hands in the lavender bushes for the smell, or those days you just stop the car, get out and watch the sun set.
But hey, I'm just a noobie here, best to listen to the more experience of the people around.
@Kolbe,
Thanks ! She is quite joyous in everyday life, but for a couple of months was clingy and even crying a couple of times out of not wanting to be separated and so on.
Maybe those who are busy surviving have less time to fret, huh ?
I'll try to keep her busier I guess. Let her do more of the housework and make dinner too?
@memester,
Haha, always good to learn those early. Give a child a brownie, they'll be happy for about 10 minutes. Teach a child to make them, they'll make you make them some more brownies.
@memester,
You should ask God to help you. If you could do that sincerely, your problems would be solved.... (sound cliche??) i don't know if it does or not.. but that is by far the best thing you could do..
@memester,
It's a placebo effect, if you think about it: a solution that only works if/because you want it to, and even then there's no guarantee something will happen. I remember all those times I used to ask God for help, whether it was emotional or for troubles that I had, and nothing came.
(sorry if I seem a bit absolutist, it's 5 a.m. here, I'm revising Psychology and am in the middle of exams, forgive me)
@Insight phil,
Insight wrote:You should ask God to help you. If you could do that sincerely, your problems would be solved.... (sound cliche??) i don't know if it does or not.. but that is by far the best thing you could do..
can't make myself be sincere in that, or I would do so. If I was sincere in that, then it would mean it worked for me and I could also therefore be sincere in advising her.
but it's a no-go for me !
@Kolbe,
Kolbe wrote:It's a placebo effect, if you think about it: a solution that only works if/because you want it to, and even then there's no guarantee something will happen. I remember all those times I used to ask God for help, whether it was emotional or for troubles that I had, and nothing came.
(sorry if I seem a bit absolutist, it's 5 a.m. here, I'm revising Psychology and am in the middle of exams, forgive me)
#1. Absolutists = win. I would consider myself as one.
#2. All I can tell you is that you need to seek out God yourself. I understand the points you are making, as well why you would think the way you do. I'll give ya a trick later that will end your confusion. I will tell you exactly how you can know for certain that God does in fact exist, and you will acquire this knowledge all on your own. i promise.. =]
@Insight phil,
Absolutism isn't all that, it just builds up a strong sense of self worth in your opinion before it all comes crashing down on top of you.
And I will indeed be very eager to hear your absolute proof, I have a philosophy exam on thursday concerning God so all opinions wanted!
@memester,
memester wrote:can't make myself be sincere in that, or I would do so. If I was sincere in that, then it would mean it worked for me and I could also therefore be sincere in advising her.
but it's a no-go for me !
This will seem a bit heavy, and I will be criticized for this, but satan is actively telling you that you can't be sincere. He does not want you to find God. All you need to do is try and help will be granted. Don't let your thoughts trick you.
that is all i can really say..
@Kolbe,
Kolbe wrote:Absolutism isn't all that, it just builds up a strong sense of self worth in your opinion before it all comes crashing down on top of you.
And I will indeed be very eager to hear your absolute proof, I have a philosophy exam on thursday concerning God so all opinions wanted!
refute absolutism. and ill give you an answer.
@Kolbe,
I have wondered what goes on, psychology-wise, in the minds of athletes who train themselves using various imaging techniques and self-hypnosis and what-not, to believe they will win...and then they lose.
but that's another thread perhaps.
@Insight phil,
Now there's something I never really got. We must never rely on our own thoughts, because at any time they are manipulated by a combination of satan, sin and temptation. How, then, can we trust anything done by mankind? If you never noticed, the good book itself was scribed, translated and compilated by these corrupted beings, so is that too unreliable?
@memester,
memester wrote:I have wondered what goes on, psychology-wise, in the minds of athletes who are train themselves using various imaging techniques and self hypnosis and what-not, to believe they will win...and then they lose.
Almost every very deeply-believing-in-God person that I know has come crashing down in mid-life, into severe depression and worthless feelings, going through a mental condition that is pretty tough to get over.
Then honestly, the people you knew were not following the right religion, or they were not very religious.
Argue all you want, I am telling you the correct answer.. I wish I could help you.
@Insight phil,
Insight wrote:refute absolutism. and ill give you an answer.
Absolutism has never done anyone any good. The ability to change and adapt ourselves is one of mankinds greatest aspects, and if it were a doctrine of absolutism in place of everything then change would be stopped and the evolution of mankind halted. In short, permanent ideals are bad, change is good. Look at what good it did Spain! One of the greatest powers of the middle ages and centre to an absolutist doctrine, now see it as a shadow of its former glory.
@Kolbe,
Kolbe wrote:Now there's something I never really got. We must never rely on our own thoughts, because at any time they are manipulated by a combination of satan, sin and temptation. How, then, can we trust anything done by mankind? If you never noticed, the good book itself was scribed, translated and compilated by these corrupted beings, so is that too unreliable?
YES!!! If you look, you will see that there are 100s of different versions of the bible..
The only one that isn't corrupt was a direct translation from the original scripture, which had no books removed from it.. good question.
and if you are strong enough with God, that he is having you write in the bible, satan is not going to be able to trick you.
@Kolbe,
Kolbe wrote:Absolutism has never done anyone any good. The ability to change and adapt ourselves is one of mankinds greatest aspects, and if it were a doctrine of absolutism in place of everything then change would be stopped and the evolution of mankind halted. In short, permanent ideals are bad, change is good. Look at what good it did Spain! One of the greatest powers of the middle ages and centre to an absolutist doctrine, now see it as a shadow of its former glory.
kk apparently we have a different idea of the term 'absolutism' we will discuss it later. =]
@Insight phil,
Insight wrote:Then honestly, the people you knew were not following the right religion, or they were not very religious.
Argue all you want, I am telling you the correct answer.. I wish I could help you.
Christian , pretty well old-style, well articulated and fairly intelligently interpreted..they were certainly sincere and would have given their life in a heartbeat for their beliefs
they believe that God would never allow the book to be corrupted, every scribe's hand was guided by God, or that part never made into King James Version.
@Insight phil,
And yet those who aren't strong with God do interfere with the Bible. Take the modern print, the King James Version. Written by the Church of England. A subsect of a greater being devolved via going against the very doctrines of the Bible. And oh, how everyone clings to this as the centre of all faith.
The trickery of satan is just an excuse to discourage thinking that is outside the churches doctrine, a way of keeping the masses under control.
@Kolbe,
When you read some other texts that didn't make it, it's pretty easy to see why.
Hares grow extra orifices every year, weasels are oral copulators, that kind of stuff
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