Major Question

So I have an internal battle going on, and there really shouldnt be one. Seeing as how i havent started my study of philosophy yet, i was hoping that i could get some feed back on this issue of mine from a philosophic view point on what to do about it because i have no idea what do do.

I am married, I love my wife every much. I would go to the end of the world for her. And yet, I find myself fantasizing about her sister...a lot. This only started a couple months ago, but it is worrisome to me.

Help. Give me opinions.

Have you asked youself excatly what you desire about her? You should face your fears and be honest with your wife about it.

yes i have asked that question, and yes i have talked to my wife about this. but she thought the feelings went away since the last time we talked. i have spent many hours trying to figure out why fantasize about her sister and the only thing i can think of that her sister has that my wife doesnt is longer hair (my wife cut hers to shoulder length and her sisters is mid back). I dont have a fetish for it, i just like long hair on girls (maybe thats the definition of fetish). But it seems kinda silly for me to be desiring another woman because of different hair length...

Thank you for all your responses. I dont think ill be able to find any rotted corpses to stare at though, there is a shortage of those in Sacramento.

So I have an internal battle going on, and there really shouldnt be one. Seeing as how i havent started my study of philosophy yet, i was hoping that i could get some feed back on this issue of mine from a philosophic view point on what to do about it because i have no idea what do do.

I am married, I love my wife every much. I would go to the end of the world for her. And yet, I find myself fantasizing about her sister...a lot. This only started a couple months ago, but it is worrisome to me.

Help. Give me opinions.

So I have an internal battle going on, and there really shouldnt be one. Seeing as how i havent started my study of philosophy yet, i was hoping that i could get some feed back on this issue of mine from a philosophic view point on what to do about it because i have no idea what do do.

I am married, I love my wife every much. I would go to the end of the world for her. And yet, I find myself fantasizing about her sister...a lot. This only started a couple months ago, but it is worrisome to me.

Help. Give me opinions.

Although it is probably quite natural to fantasize and sometimes perhaps even to lust after another woman, you would be making a serious mistake to act upon your "desires".

.

For once I agree with kennethamy.

Fantasizing is perfectly natural, and those desires are a part of us. It's just biology. I would say, fantasize away, and don't punish yourself or feel guilty for it...just as long as it does not turn into an obsession, and as long as you don't act on these feelings. Then you will run into trouble.

For once I agree with kennethamy.

Fantasizing is perfectly natural, and those desires are a part of us. It's just biology. I would say, fantasize away, and don't punish yourself or feel guilty for it...just as long as it does not turn into an obsession, and as long as you don't act on these feelings. Then you will run into trouble.

i think the fellow wouldnt have posted unless it was already turning into a problem for him though. if a relationship is satisfying, is fantasy still likely to happen? i think the fantasies should be together for the couple-not each one have separate fantasies.

jeez...the guy's wife might be fantasizing about the mailman. ever hear that song 'who's making love to your old lady while you are out making love?'

Hi Salima,

That could be, but I suspect perhaps that he's posted it because, somewhere along the line, he's been taught that fantasizing about another woman is immoral, and now he's on a guilt trip because of it. My solution is this-- realize that it's natural, and that there is nothing wrong or immoral about the fantasizing. Then, once the guilt is gone, this fantasy will slowly slip away too. Sometimes a "guilty pleasure", or guilty fantasy in this case, is only there because it has the allure of being something taboo. Feeling lots of guilt is probably also causing him to focus even more on his fantasies, thus perpetuating them.

Why do you think that what is natural cannot also be immoral?

It is, I guess, natural to steal if you can get away with it.

I don't think this, and didn't say this, but you might make this conclusion by doing what you're best at- twisting people's words around.



How so? It's one thing to claim that sexual desire is natural; that's a given. It's another to claim that stealing is natural, or wired into our biology the way that lust is.

Fantasizing is all right. As long as it stops there.

For once I agree with kennethamy.

Fantasizing is perfectly natural, and those desires are a part of us. It's just biology. I would say, fantasize away, and don't punish yourself or feel guilty for it...just as long as it does not turn into an obsession, and as long as you don't act on these feelings. Then you will run into trouble.

. I have never ignored anyone one on the forum, but I am getting close. Ken,

William

Then, what did you mean by, " My solution is this-- realize that it's natural, and that there is nothing wrong or immoral about the fantasizing."?

I don't want to dispute about whether stealing is natural or not. But, suppose it were, would it then be moral? That is the issue. So, that sexual desire for someone not your wife but your sister-in-law may or may not be natural, but suppose it is. Why can't it be immoral too?

Hello Pangloss my friend; Ha, actually I agreed with you regarding our perpetual devils advocate to all but himself. But as you notice by the immediate above responses, he seems to thrive on antagonism. I have never ignored anyone one on the forum, but I am getting close. Ken, just how many mirrors do you have in your home?