I was dating my gf for 10 months and we lived together for 9. Well in the past 10 months of dating she has left me twice. The first time she was so set on hating me and never wanting to see me again, but she came back. Well she left me again just this past month with the same thinking (I hate him blah blah blah) and she is starting to come back around again. Well last night she stayed the night with me and we made love for the first time in over a month. (PS. I was her first and only) Granit I was very down when she left me again and I was starting to get better being alone. Well this morning when she left she gave me a BIG hug and a nice long kiss and said I love you before she turned to me and said this "If we continue like this we are just going to hurt ourselves, I think its a good Idea if you not try to contact me and we shouldnt talk anymore if we are meant to be together time will bring us back, just not now! Ok what do I do I feel that she has all the control of when we talk when we kiss or whatever. This is the exact same way we got back together last time. But my heart is being impatient. I love her will all of my heart! WHAT DO I DO Stay or let it go!?!?!?! Please help me
Make some decisions of your own. Do you want to do this again and again? If not, tell her to git'along next time she comes around. It'll hurt, but it'll hurt less than the game she's playing.
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dagmaraka
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Thu 6 Nov, 2003 08:27 pm
Hiya Fred, you said you started to have a good time on your own. That's the spirit, keep that up. If she will see you desperate, she will keep playing with you forever. You go, fred! wimin are evil anyway.
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Joe Nation
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Thu 6 Nov, 2003 08:28 pm
She's nuts. I know you're nuts about her, but she's nuts. This relationship is some kind of game for her and you, my boy, are the ball. Don't let her kick you again.
Have you noticed that there are like seventy five thousand other single, not nuts, women within the sound of your voice. Say Hello.
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Fred
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 11:35 am
You guys are right but I don't know she is my first my last my everything and alot of the reasons we break up is due to her family! Like the majority love me but her grandma hates me for some reason and she values her opinion.
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cavfancier
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 11:39 am
Get over it. Wash your hands of it. If you love something, set it free, especially if it's crazy.
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Fred
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 11:42 am
I want to wash my hands with her I really do in my mind but my heart keeps telling me different!
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cavfancier
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 11:43 am
<Sigh> One more small piece of advice....be a man if you really want her back. Forget about the grandma and the family. Tell her to choose. Don't back down, and don't compromise. It may not be the politically correct choice, but it might be the only option here. However, I would still suggest finding another lady who isn't playing games with you. She is not your "everything". If you believe that, you are asking to be to taken advantage of.
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Fred
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 11:45 am
I never looked at it that way! I guess I am just a sucker for love!
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dagmaraka
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 11:51 am
this is not about love. it's about you. she shouldn't define your life, no matter how great she would be. cav is right, if you'll let anyone toss you right and left, they will have no respect for you. enjoy life! she will either come back or you'll find other great things and people out there!
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cavfancier
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 12:04 pm
Fred, I only know because I've been there. I'm still a romantic, and have a lovely wife, but trust me, there is a long, happy road ahead for you if you keep confident, and look out for yourself.
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Fred
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 12:16 pm
Thank you guys so much I mean yea you guys are 100% right!!!!!!! But now all I need to do is convince my heart that you guys are
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sozobe
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 01:23 pm
Maybe this will help your heart along...
The actions you describe are those of someone who doesn't want a relationship with you, but occasionally takes advantage of your availability when she is feeling needy.
Don't let her.
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Fred
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 02:01 pm
All of you are very right, but there is one thing I don't know if it makes a difference in this story line of my life that I am 4 years older then her I am 23 she is 19
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sozobe
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 02:04 pm
That fits with what you've said, I don't think it makes much of a difference. You seem to want a relationship, she seems to want occasional jollies.
(If occasional jollies and nothing more are OK with you, then that's different. But that's not the impression I get.)
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cavfancier
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 02:06 pm
Well, 19 and 23 isn't really that big a gap. You are both adult enough to make your own decisions. However, for argument's sake, I would suggest that as the older one in the situation, you should make the mature course, which is still to not let her take advantage of you.
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Fred
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 02:06 pm
I told her that I want to marry her one day
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cavfancier
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 02:12 pm
My guess would be that telling you she wants to marry you one day might possibly be another game, to keep you hanging on while she does what she wants.
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cavfancier
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Fri 7 Nov, 2003 02:14 pm
Think about the statement "marry you one day." Not "marry YOU" but "marry you one day..."
I'm still a romantic, and have a lovely wife, but trust me, there is a long, happy road ahead for you if you keep confident, and look out for yourself.
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