The Death of Dating

It wasn't any set of rules that brought about the death of dating but rather technology. In this case, reliable birth control. But, what happens or what could happen if the issue of birth control is removed?

I question that theory at least in part.

Women still need to try to find a male partner that is likely to be around for twenty years or so if they wish to have a family.

That need is completely independent of birth control technology.

What makes you think dating is dead?

My wife and I enjoyed some of the traditional courtship rituals. I paid for dinner, and held open the door. I don't see anything wrong with this (between two consenting adults of course) for many of us it feels natural and makes us feel special. As a married couple, we still have dates (I am not sure if this counts)... I still always end up ordering the drinks.

My understanding of what young people do today (it hurts to use this term) is that there is much more casual sex without the dating ritual. My impression is that the dating rituals are still present, gender roles intact. This lives side by side with the new "let's hook up" thing.

Courtship rituals with well defined gender roles are older then we are as a species. They are part of our DNA. Why not enjoy them?

I shudder to think. I don't really think that the advent of BC had a negative affect on the death of dating, it simply changed the interaction. Women having less worry about unplanned pregnancy allows for them to see all the wooing and wolves teeth for what they are. Older notions of romance may come with lace, but I'll still take modern interaction. I'd not want the old ways.

I've definitely still found dating to be engaging and romantic. I still think people take their time. No matter the inflation on the currency of romance, there is still a high premium on being a sincere and loving person.

Amor
R
T

La petite mort...

I don't see why you couldn't let a relationship grow slowly in the context of hanging out. (Taking walks together, playing games together, talking with mutual friends together, etc.)

Personally, I prefer these informal settings to the standard, let's-talk-over-dinner-and-see-if-we-click, American dating format. The latter feels uncomfortably similar to an oral examination.

Stated quite eloquently Thomas.

I think sometimes just the word "date" makes people think of the idea that the person you are seeing either has to be a suitor as a potential future mate or long term relationship. THe casual "hang out together" type situations may give people the security of allowing a friendship to foster without the pressure of the 'future' thoughts.

Incidentally, I got asked out on a real 'date' for the first time in over 14 years. Nothing like a sudden panic of nervousness that say. "OMG a date! Are you serious????"

I see a lot of single men out in the world but rarely is there more than seconds of eye contact. I really have no idea where one goes to meet the calibur of men who make good future mate material. I am enjoying the search in the meantime.



Edit: *boggles to see her workplace add placed prominently displayed on the bottom of an A2K page* The wonders of goodgle ads.

I'll add that new social boundaries seem to have risen, I'm not sure if they are uniform amongst all generations. I feel like as a 20's man, that part off the ceremonial/ritualistic part of dating is being introduced. Introducing yourself has somehow been labelled creepy. Most men would probably feel better being introduced.

I think this is a larger part of social paranoia about strangers. It's a sort of vetting that has become more common.

On the opposite side of the scale, meeting complete strangers via the internet has become more acceptable. Perhaps everything in between has become the hard territory to navigate.

A
R
T

Thanks, but it actually was a mistake. I didn't mean to compare a traditional date with a visit to the dentist. I meant to compare it to defending a thesis. The correct English word would have been "oral exam".

i thought you meant a blow job...

Blowjobs, unlike formal American dates, are enjoyable---I would never compare the two.

I don't know, I never followed any dating rules and still got by nicely.
Too much is read into "dating" in the United States, the land of speed dating
at a restaurant which in actuality is more like musical chairs

You meet someone you feel attracted to and you offer to buy them a cup of
coffee and then you go from there. Pretty simple, me says.

Hi POM

You know, I don't think I ever "dated", in the formal sense.

You met someone, at work, at a friend's gathering, or some organization you were involved in ... you got talking & got to know each other a bit better & if there was enough mutual interest, things developed from there. Or didn't.

No, consider that many animals have courtship rituals, from bower birds to humans. Those rituals are all mating preludes. Since mating became easier, the preludes went the way of the dodo. Rather, not mating as procreation, but mating as plain old sex.

Supposedly, during this economic rollback, a great many women were in better positions in terms of the world of work than men were. A woman can go to a sperm bank to have a baby. She can seduce a coworker or have a one-night stand with a fit enough specimen.

Why not enjoy them? That's what I'm saying!

But FA, perhaps, you're just nicer than the run of the mill guy.

I suspect that you are a great deal younger than I am. A woman I work with who is 60 and who has to be a size four, effects a sort of Annie Hall look. She doesn't wear a vest and a limp hat, but generally an oversized blazer with the cuffs rolled. She's cute. She told me that the men she meets . . . she goes to a rather high class restaurant and bar in the town where we teach . . . don't want a relationship, just dinner now and then. That riles her. She thinks her girlfriends are more fun.

I took it as a defending a thesis situation. Some people consider a dinner invitation a job interview. I kid you not.

Yeah, that too!

I could probably write a book about this but have avoided it it. Back when I'm in the mood to elaborate.