Three old women are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions. 
One seventy-five year old woman says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." 
An eighty year old woman says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." 
The ninety year old woman says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow." 
"So what's your problem?" asked the others. 
"I don't wake up until nine."