Reply
Sat 1 Nov, 2003 11:13 am
Actual Court Transcripts:
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Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.
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Q. Ms, were you cited in the accident?
A. Yes Sir, I was so 'cited I peed all over myself!!
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Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
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Q. What is your name?
A. Ernestine McDowell.
Q. And what is your marital status?
A. Fair.
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Q. Are you married?
A. No, I'm divorced.
Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn't know about.
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Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A. I will be three months November 8th.
Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A. Yes.
Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?
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Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
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Q. Were you acquainted with the defendant?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. Before or after he died?
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Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
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THE COURT: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information from your minds, if you have any.
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Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A. No.
Q. What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A. Picking them up in the air.
Q. Where was the dog at this time?
A. Attached to the ears.
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Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
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Q. And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What school do you go to?
A. Oral.
Q. How old are you?
A. Oral.
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Q: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
A: She is my daughter.
Q: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?
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Q: ...and what did he do then?
A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
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Q: So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
A: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q: It was covered?
A: Yes, bandaged.
Q: Then, later on.. what did you see?
A: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.
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Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.
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Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?
A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
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Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A: The victim lived.
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Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.
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Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A: It indicates intercourse.
Q: Male sperm?
A. That is the only kind I know.
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Q: (Showing man picture.) Is that you?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
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Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
A: I have only one, you know.
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Q: And was he dead when you performed the autopsy?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting up on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy
This isn't a joke but it's a good place to tell a short story about my own experience with a court transcript I once tried to obtain. They said it would cost $750 and I also had to provide the court with one and pay for it myself. The courts copy would cost me 90 cents a page. Government corruption drives me nuts!
That's not necessarily corruption. Transcripts cost money. Court reporters don't work for free. Actually, 90 cents a page is a pretty good rate; usually these things go for about $2/page. The overall cost of $750 is absurd, you're right, but there is a per-page cost. The court reporter is paid by the hour, and the agency (which transcribes his/her notes into English and prints the transcript, and binds it, and proofreads it) is paid by the page.
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