firstly, I'm not in a relationship and haven't been for a long time, so take this with a grain of salt...
I think you have to take the want out of it, and just let things happen.
your desire to see it go the way you want it is getting in the way of the natural flow of things.
she is going to have ups and downs.
your job, as I see it, is to be yourself, be her friend, and if in the end things are meant to be, she will decide that you are what she wants.
be available, but not in her face.
and welcome to a2k.