Should i ask her out or is she being nice?

Yes you should ask her out.

The worst that can happen is she'll say no but it's more likely she'll say yes.

Yes ask her out!!!

Cycloptichorn

Be laid-back and uncreepy about it -- make sure she knows that "no" is an acceptable answer and you're still interested in hanging out with her even if she doesn't want to go out with you. (Unless you're not.)

But other than that sure, go for it.

To break the ice when asking her out mention that while you might consider that she was simply being nice to you, at the least have her consider a luncheon date as reciprocity for her own kindness to you. If all she was doing was being friendly, you at least recognized the kindness and want to do likewise.

Do yourself and the woman a big favor; be friends before lovers.

ps:

Learn to dance. Woman recognize that a guy who is unafraid to dance usually has few ego problems and is secure enough a man that he does not take out his personal inadequacies by physically abusing women.

pps:

All bets are off if you look like a young John Trevolta

Is that really necessary? I mean explaining the obvious in some awkward apologetic way is seems kind of over-anxious, if not creepy.

I always just simply asked-- as in would you like to have dinner with me? Do you like Thai?

(( On the other hand... I was always told to "be myself"-- which makes the "be uncreepy" part a little tricky.))

When I was single... the exchanging of the phone numbers meant something.

Why would you ask for her number if you weren't going to ask her out? And, why would she give you her number if she weren't interested in going out?

That would be uncreepy. That gives her an out. "Do you like Thai?" "Not really."

Creepy:

"You know, I've liked you since 11th grade, and you've been like hugging me and stuff, and I have been thinking about this a lot, and I can't quite believe that you might like me too, but I would be so upset if it turns out I was wrong, I mean I practiced this like 25 times in the mirror, and so I just have to ask... do you have feelings for me too?"

Point is -- keep it relatively light and uncomplicated, give her an out, and roll with it if she doesn't seem interested in you romantically vs. hanging out as friends.

Soz, I agree with you example of creepy.

I disagree with your example of an "out"-- and I certainly didn't mean it as an "out". If she says "not really"-- does that mean you should back off, or does that mean you should take her to a Mexican place? In this case, I would ask "what kind of food do you like?".

Really the only "out" is the first question-- "Would you like to have dinner?". She can answer "no" to that question. If she doesn't answer "no" to the first question... but really doesn't want to go out-- then she is being creepy.

Simple direct communication is the best on both sides.

James203 (I hope you are ignoring us)...

Just ask simply, and don't worry... if she gave you her number, she almost certainly wants you to call.

Just simply ask.

Fine, "no," is another out. It's harder though for a lot of women to be that bald about it.

If she's interested in being friends but not in dating, it could go something like:

"How about dinner? Do you like Thai?"

"Not really."

"Mexican?"

"Hmm... there is that one Mexican place on Main Street, Julia and I were just talking about how we wanted to go there for lunch sometime, maybe the three of us can do that sometime next week?"

A lot of information has been conveyed without being bald.

"I desire to accompany you to Chili's and afterward exchange genital secretions. If you do not share this desire that is cool."

But for real? Friend or more than friend, she's given you signals that at the very least would make you regret doing nothing.

If you don't ask her out, what will you do when the next girl gives you her phone number? Will you just continue to walk girls to class, or somewhere else, get their phone no. and do nothing, especially when they seem to like you.
Now, that is creepy.

(By the way, I've followed the same principles when I've asked out guys, which I've done.) (I refer here to the "give 'em an out" principles, not the "exchange genital excretions" principles.)

(As a follically-challenged adult, I will ignore the 'bald' metaphor )

This is an interesting tangent (I still hope James ignores this and just asks since I don't think this is relevant to his situation.)

This is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. What is wrong with honesty and directness?

If you don't want to go out with me, why the heck can't you just say so? It would save time and energy to avoid this silly awkward dance. It is annoying to have to play this little guessing game-- and it ends up being far more awkward then it has to be.

I would be upset with the let's go with Julia trick.

First, the question is "would you like to go on a date with me?", if I have the decency to ask a straightforward question, I deserve a straightforward answer.

But second, look what the response does to me. First, it is almost certainly a lie (or a damn convenient coincidence that you happened to be talking to Julia about this very restaurant). Second, it puts me in a difficult situation-- there is nothing wrong with me asking you out on a date (that is, when we were both single), I probably have no interest in spending time with Julia meaning that now I have to be honest when you wouldn't be.

When I was single, I appreciated a direct firm "no". I found that women would most often go on a first date... I appreciated the honesty on the second date... and a simple "I am really not interested" may have smarted a second... it was someone I thought I had a good time with not returning my calls, or making excuses that was really annoying-- I had to guess whether the excuses were real (not really that difficult, but a straight answer is much nicer).

The next time she waits on you after class say "Want to go get a cup of coffee?"

If she doesn't want to she'll say "no" and probably say "I've got a class" or some other obligation.

Just say "Okay. Maybe some other time."

Leave it open for her to suggest when next time might be.

Easy.

Once upon a time Slappy DoHo wrote a really amazing post giving advice to guys about just such things. It wasn't goofy Slappy, but great advice Slappy.

Speaking of Slappy. We sure haven't seen any of him lately. I'm guessing he's in loooooove or something.

Speaking of love - when is the wedding, Gargamel?

I never gave women an 'out' in such a situation. Why would anyone do such a thing? It's not attractive. Girls like confident guys, not guys who apologize for liking them.

OP, just say 'Hey - I'd like to take you out on a date this weekend, are you free?'

Why should guys have to carry all the responsibility and the stress of asking people out? Doesn't make any sense.

Cycloptichorn

I know what you're saying. I think it's easier to say "no" to someone asking you out of the blue than someone you've known for years and have a friendly relationship with.

I agree that ideally the woman would just say "no" and leave it at that. If it was the woman who was asking ('cause she thought a guy was about to ask her out and she didn't want to), that's what I'd advise her. Clear and direct.

But since the guy is the one who's asking, I think that leaving an out is more considerate in this situation -- where they've known each other a long time and she may want to stay friends but not more (from what he's said so far though I think it's more likely that she'd be receptive to being asked out).

um...I'm a woman (checking down below to make sure) and I am left confused by the exchange above.

I can't tell by that if she wants to go out with him or not.

When she invites three of her friends to tag along, she's ensuring dinner is not a date. After all, what guy seriously enjoys dinner with three women who are good friends, two of whom he doesn't know? That would be ******* awful.

That's funny. I am a man (no need to check) and this doesn't confuse me one bit.

She is not at all interested in him; in fact she thinks he is a little weird or pathetic (which is why she doesn't want to be with him).

But, she feels obligated or she pities him-- which is why she doesn't have the heart to just say 'no'.

She really doesn't want to spend any time with him, but she figures with a friend, it won't be too bad. That way she has done her duty and then can forget the whole business.