ADOPTED RUSSIAN BOY REJECTED, IN SELF DEFENSE

......Corruption also has been blamed for an increase in complaints from parents who said they adopted children who were represented to be relatively healthy or afflicted with correctable medical conditions. Only after getting home did those parents learn that their children were impaired by fetal alcohol syndrome, mentally ill after years of neglect in orphanages, or both.


As those children have grown older, an increasing number have been turned over to foster care, placed in institutions or returned to Russia. Their demoralized, financially burdened families say they no longer can handle youngsters who've beaten playmates, stomped and choked siblings or tried to burn down their homes.

....... Adoptive parents have charged in lawsuits that agencies or facilitators gave them records that had been translated inaccurately or that omitted crucial negative details about the child's background.

Only after returning to the United States did some parents discover that their children had serious physical ailments that would make it impossible for them to live a normal life. Others learned that their increasingly violent children suffered from one or more psychological syndromes triggered by early abuse or long stays in orphanages.

......Inga, who has developmental delays, reactive attachment disorder and fetal alcohol syndrome, told the Whatcotts she had been placed twice with Russian families, but was returned to her orphanage because of her behavior. The Whatcotts, who have three other children, two of them adopted, severed their relationship with Inga after the girl repeatedly attacked siblings and playmates and tried to kill Cilla while she was bedridden after a hysterectomy.

But would happen if something worse happened? Would one know how to handle it? Would they be able to get the necessary resources and help? I could only imagine that after wanting and desiring a child for so long that she would have to be at her whit's end to send him back? I agree this was not the best way to handle it (or even near so) - but maybe giving the benefit of the doubt - she just did not know how to cope any longer...

Putin had supposedly signed laws to reform the system so if they'd read this article they'd have probably thought they were safe.

Valentina Pavlova heads the Moscow office of Kidsave, an American organization that runs foster-care programs in Russia. She says that even in standard orphanages, the lack of contact with the rest of the world leaves children utterly unprepared for adult life.

"When children leave those institutions, they enter another world they've only seen on television," Pavlova says. "Very few are able to cope because they've never had anything of their own or experienced normal relationships. Above all, they've been deprived of love."
Pavlova agrees with most other experts who say that the only way to help orphans break out of lifelong cycles of isolation and lack of education is to put them in the care of adoptive or foster families.

But Altshuler of the Child's Right group says that officials in charge of the country's state orphanages are obstructing new foster programs because they don't want to lose state funding.

Altshuler calls the current system an "orphan industry." He says it won't improve without public pressure. But he says that as long as the state keeps hiding orphans from society, attitudes about them won't change.

I'm not saying she shouldn't have - I'm saying we do not know all - we do not know what she had tried

I think it was my first post on this thread where I said I thought America should ban adoptions from Russia. I believe they should have done it a long time ago.

ossobuco wrote:

You are jumping leaps re this young child, David. I think it is your own fear in action. It is possible he is as damaged as you say - we don't know that. It is much more likely that he is a mixed up mess and could have been helped, but that he was tossed in a bin, forthwith, but the putative adoptive mom.
You are just postulating in fear and the boy is living this stuff out.

but, Osso, he never threatened ME; he is not mad at ME
He does not know where MY real estate is.

What do I have to fear from him ?
What is your thinking in that matter?
David

Excuse me, that was by the putative adoptive mom.

My thinking is that much of your a2k persona is as a stalwart about self defense,

and that underlying the continual posting about it is a seemingly constant fear
of harm from others to you and others, a kind of fear based living.

This seems so strong that there appears no room left for compassion for a rejected small child,

or any understanding that the child had a human right to receive care
if indeed he has psychological or neurological disturbance.

He does not know where MY real estate is.

My thinking is that much of your a2k persona is as a stalwart about self defense,

and that underlying the continual posting about it is a seemingly constant fear
of harm from others to you and others, a kind of fear based living.

This seems so strong that there appears no room left for compassion for a rejected small child,

or any understanding that the child had a human right to receive care
if indeed he has psychological or neurological disturbance.

He does not know where MY real estate is.

My thinking is that much of your a2k persona is as a stalwart about self defense,

and that underlying the continual posting about it is a seemingly constant fear
of harm from others to you and others, a kind of fear based living.

This seems so strong that there appears no room left for compassion for a rejected small child,

or any understanding that the child had a human right to receive care
if indeed he has psychological or neurological disturbance.

Someone has sold the idea that foster kids = bad, damaged kids while overseas orphans = good kids.

I think we're being lied to.