kinda weird to me

Maybe it's time to take Dad off ignore.

Send your old man a picture of the gorge that you plan to be dusted over. Let him know that this isnt up for debate and to have a nice eternity in a hole in the ground.

Graves seem really confning . My genome has been mapped and is presently sitting on a multi terabyte computer with a whole bunch of other folks. Thats infinitely neater than leaving a dried up corpse in a shithole graveyard somewhere.

I got along with my parents (it took several years towards the end of my dads life but we made it through all the alpha male **** that I exerted in my youth). I told both my folks about
1atholicism was not for me

2Whie I was at it, I was an orthodox agnostic

3 Me and my wife were gonna be composted and used as river gravel in the ST Croix

I have a different take on the situation, dys.
He has re-written the family history on that head stone to suit his own version of events. There you are, all together forever. So you must have been a close, happy family, afterall. Or that's how it will look to anyone passing through that cemetery in 50 years or so time.
Everyone knows that headstones don't lie.

The IMPORTANT thing is:
don 't let him jam u down under there, prematurely --
no matter WHAT he says about trying it out.

I think osso may have something there--maybe he's trying for some reconciliation as he starts to see death getting nearer.

My family have been cremated for three generations back--none of us now living know why they made that decision. I kind of alternate between that and saying just put me in the ground with a winding sheet, so my decomposition nurtures new life (if only on the arthropod scale).(tho I'm not sure that that's legal anymore. The funeral industry may have gotten legislation that you have to be sealed up as a "sanitation" measure if your uncremated body is buried)/ I also think ejecting the ashes in suborbital flight would be a good way to go--the particles would block a small amount of sunlight and reduce very slightly manmade global warming--doing our bit for the world. Best wishes for your other brother.

If there is no date of death ever carved after your name, it means you're going to live forever.

Such is life.

People in future will wonder how come the dates of death were left empty.

You may become famous for this, without ever having been there.


And yes, it's bloody weird.

I think it's kind of nice. How many of us are so lucky we can frame and hang a picture of our own tombstone above the mantel?

yeah, i'd call

To put the survievers name on a gravestone is not so common but I have seen it.
In case like your father who put on his childrens name is very unusual.
In case the survivor - in this case I think about the children - is missed in action, on sea or wants to be buried some other place one just puts "In memory" after the name. Of course the same thing if the husband is the survievor.
Because you are cremated does not mean that you do not have a grave.
Very few get their ashes spread some place...at least in Europe.
In Sweden when we use the word spread the ashes means it has to be in an urn and be digged down either in earth in natur - special places - or in water at least 100 meters from the shore. Otherwise we would talk about burial place. A burial place for an urn is the most common.
You cannot just spread it out in the air any place according to your wish.

well that's a breathe of fresh air

Spreading ashes used to be tightly regulated by the individual states in the U.S. I don't know if that has been changed, or not. Something called the Neptune Society used to handle the situation by flying the ashes and some kind of preacher so many miles off the coast of California. The preacher got to come back.

We don´t fly out the ashes.
In Sweden and Scandinavia it is done by boat. I have never seen it myself just been told about it. Often the boat have some flowers, a ceremony can take place the flag is on half mast.

In Denmark when cremation started you had to join a association to prove that you really wanted to be creamated. A small sum was paid in and later money was payed out to help with your funeral.
My great aunts were members and I found the word for this association thrilling when I was a kid. Not only was it a long difficult word to say in a foreign language but also kind of scary.
In English Corpseburningassociation.
In Danish Ligbrændningsforening

yes, I think there is some truth to what you say, he certainly has a penchant for re-writing history.

When I was 23, I decided to cut all contact with my (adopted) family because I was determined to not allow them to continue to hurt me any longer. It was a great relief to me and it must have relieved them of their guilt for the physical and mental brutality they inflicted on me all of my life.

I paid a brief visit to them when I was 45, which confirmed that I had taken the right action to protect myself. I didn't allow them to upset me and I'm better off as a result.

BBB

I had to cut ties with my half siblings for similar reasons, BBB.

But there's always the possibility that there's an element of regret, of wishing things had been different, on his part, as the reason for the re-writing, dys.

It's difficult to know his thinking, without actually knowing the person.

Down in the South, pre-arrangements (having dates hewn into granite, and waiting around like buzzards) is de rigueur. I don't find this odd, but yeah...it is brutally sad that dad did whatever he did to repel his sons in life...and somehow thinks the gathering underground is appropriate. I was imagining a scenario a bit like osso and Margo's. Dys, I'm sorry. He has squandered a wonderful son...and I am feeling sad about your brother.

Love,

The Bimbo