Mame
 
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 02:07 am
This is kind of weird/strange - this topic, I mean, but I'm sitting here staring at a picture of my friend Don who died last year when I was in camp. He was only 50. I only found out when I sent him a kerazy email and got a notification back that he had died. At first I thought it was some kind of joke. Then I realized it had to be real. It was from his company. I had known him, loved him, for over 25 years. It was a terrible shock. He was such a lovely man and apparently his funeral was crowded with people who loved him. There were over 500 there. And I didn't even know, couldn't grieve for him with others because I was out of town.

I had a neighbour who was larger than life. We bought our house from him in W Van - and he'd only bought it to top the trees, so he had it for less than 2 months. Oh, it's all about the view in West Van. We went to Germany and were supposed to have dinner with them when we got back. I called and called and called, leaving funny messages, puzzled that he didn't return my calls. A few days later I got a call from a dear friend of theirs with the news that he'd died suddenly from an aneurism. It was a terrible shock.

And then there was Louisos. He was our landlord in Santorini, but he was more than just a landlord. He helped us in so many ways. We just fell in love with him. I spent hours compiling a package from Vancouver with all sorts of goodies and I never heard from him. Then we got a letter from the manager telling us he fell off the caldera - fell to his death. It was a terrible shock.

It's funny - you know you're going to feel sad when it's someone you know and love, but a landlord? A person you bought a house from? How is it you can feel so connected to people you have so little, really, to do with? But sometimes you just do.

I've wanted to share about Donald ever since I found out but I didn't know how until now. I loved that man like a brother and I am devastated he is gone. No more jokey emails, no more lunches, no more conversations, no more anythings. Our history is gone. Our friendship is gone.

Life really is such a b*&ch. Or can be. I hate it sometimes.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 8 • Views: 1,388 • Replies: 16
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 02:27 am
@Mame,
Quote:
Life really is such a b*&ch. Or can be. I hate it sometimes.


And you've had a string of bad news to cause you (with very good reason) to grieve, Mame.

My sincere commiserations to you. Discovering such things out of the blue, can knock one sideways .. between the shock & the grief & the sense of loss.

No one wants to lose people they care about like that, so suddenly. No one wants to find out about their loss the way you have. I'm so sorry it's happened to you.

0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 07:01 am
@Mame,
((((((((((((((((Mame))))))))))))))))))))))
0 Replies
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 07:14 am
Some people just strike a sympathetic chord, don't they? It's fun to talk with
them, you smile just thinking of them. And then they're gone. It's a bitch, all
right.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 07:19 am
@Mame,
It sounds like these were all situations where you didn't have a chance to experience a formalized goodbye (funerals or anything else), which has to make it even harder.

My condolences, Mame.
0 Replies
 
sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 07:38 am
My condolences, too.

Smile that you had them in your life.

That's about the olny thing you can do.

It's all really out of our control.

That's the thing that is the hardest to accept.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 07:39 am
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
How is it you can feel so connected to people you have so little, really, to do with? But sometimes you just do.


Dunno. Wish I understood it.

I do think that not being able to share the grieving makes it more difficult. That's why funerals/ceremonies/rituals are there for the living.

Will you be/were you able to share your joy of knowing Don with mutual friends?

Losing the other half of shared history/shared jokes/shared story shortcuts is rough.

(((((((((( P-poo ))))))))))
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 08:45 am
@ehBeth,
And then there's moments like this:

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l67/WetCoast/IMG_0887.jpg
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 09:24 am
@Mame,
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......!
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 09:33 am
@sozobe,
I know, she's a honey.
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 09:35 am
@Mame,
Well both of you look awful sweet. And that heavenly glow adds another layer of aw-dom. I'm surprised Set survived the cuteness onslaught.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 09:41 am
Actually, Set's just a big ol' teddy bear - didn't call me a clown once.
George
 
  2  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 10:27 am
@Mame,
Mame wrote:

Actually, Set's just a big ol' teddy bear - didn't call me a clown once.

He never calls anyone a clown once.
Reyn
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 11:49 am
@Mame,
Mame wrote:

And then there's moments like this:

http://i93.photobucket.com/albums/l67/WetCoast/IMG_0887.jpg

So who is who? Question
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 12:32 pm
@Reyn,
Me and ehBeth, in that order.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 06:30 pm
@George,
George wrote:

Mame wrote:

Actually, Set's just a big ol' teddy bear - didn't call me a clown once.

He never calls anyone a clown once.


He'd not call me a clown MORE than once.
Wink
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 12 Mar, 2010 06:40 pm
@Mame,
Memorable photo, with all that diamond glow around you two. Very dear.
0 Replies
 
 

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