Christmas time...

Twas the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed.


He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.


Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks


I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.


I've busted my ass for damn near a year,


Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?


The old lady bitches cause I work late at night


The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.


Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids


Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS


And just when I thought that things would get better


Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter


They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny


Who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money?


And the kids these days - they all are the pits


They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits


I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds


Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads


I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them


They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!


Flying through the air...dodging the trees


Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees


I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment


I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment


There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason


I found me a blonde.. I'm going South for the season!