What a crappy day.

@OCCOM BILL,

I hope today is a better day for you and yours. It is -- what Mame said, or maybe it was osso and it was likely both of them -- grief has its own schedule.

In the meantime there are going to be other crappy days, I hate to say, but there will be. But hopefully there will be fewer of them, and they won't be so heavy, not as much crap ladled on top of the grief.

That page is, oh my. Not for the faint of heart.

1 Reply

@jespah,

Well, Msogla's sun seems to have done the trick. Very little evidence of snow left and clear blue sky. My uncles dropped off a load of food, so that's fine now and he's taking Indi and May (my siblings) ice skating Smile

So that gives me and my dad time to sort out the house and talk and whatever.
So it looks like today is going to be better. Smile

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@AbbieMcKenley,

Yes, Abbie; my day is better.
I was just sitting in bed watching
people climbing snowcovered mountains
(Mt. Rainier and K2) on TV,
some of whom perished in multiple
accidents and other casualties.

I remember thinking that I was glad
to be in a warm house with a lot of food
(its windy 17 degrees F. outside in NY)
and not stupid enuf to expose myself
to the discomforts and perils
of climbing mountains covered
with ice n snow n crevasses n hi wind.

David

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@AbbieMcKenley,

AbbieMcKenley wrote:

Well, Msogla's sun seems to have done the trick. Very little evidence of snow left and clear blue sky.
My uncles dropped off a load of food, so that's fine now and he's taking Indi and May (my siblings) ice skating
So that gives me and my dad time to sort out the house and talk and whatever.
So it looks like today is going to be better.

Your uncle sounds like a very, very fine man.

Is "Indi" short for something else ?

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

His full name is Cody Indigo McKenley and Indigo seemed to fit him so much better as he got older, but Idigo was a bit too girly so we kepted it as Indi.
Smile

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@AbbieMcKenley,

"indigo"-girly Shocked

i mean there's a girl band called the indigo girls, but if i heard of a guy named indigo, i'd assume he was a some kind of black ops super spy ala jason bourne

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@djjd62,

He's white, skinny and blond, beleive me, on him, John would be edging on girly.

Aside from that, there was some TV program with a girl called Indigo on. No boys going to want the same name as a girl Smile

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@AbbieMcKenley,

Well, that sounds a bit better. I hope you and your dad manage to talk about stuff.

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@JPB,

Yeah, we head over to the cemetary again, even though my dad and i both agreed that there isn't much point, as Lilia would have hung around there. We just went because it felt like we were at least doing something. My dad wanted to go surfing but eventually i managed to put him off (Its 2 degrees celcius) So we packet some food and stuff (I know that sounds really odd, a picnic in a graveyard) It gave us the chance to talk about her and laugh and everything.
As annoying as my Dad was about Lilia's traetments and whatever when she was alive, i'm really glad he's here now.
Goodbye to the nice blue sky we had earlier, big greyish red cloud has taken over.

He's how it's looking here.

http://www.landsendweather.info/tolpedn.jpg

2 Replies

@AbbieMcKenley,

The image above is a webcam by the way, i just noticed it keeps changing. Smile

1 Reply

@AbbieMcKenley,

I'm glad your dad is with you now too. Each of you is trying to handle Lilia's death in their own way. Sometimes those ways bring people together and sometimes they seem to push people apart. I'm glad you and your dad are able to help each other together.

It sounds like you're carrying a lot of family responsibilities right now. I assume you're still on holiday from school. When do your classes start up again? It may be a bit easier on you once your own life gets back to a normal routine.

1 Reply

@JPB,

Yeah, class starts again tomorrow.
It's going to be wierd going back, i was hardly there in december.
I've been sent all the coursework i was supposed to get done over christmas, but with everything happneing, i haven't done much. Rushing to get it done now, my exams are in a few months. Shocked

Lilia would be coming up for her sampling day on the 16th. She'd be starting high school in september. Theres a pile of her drawings on the kitchen table, nobodys wanted to move it yet, we sort of, eat around it.

1 Reply

@AbbieMcKenley,

AbbieMcKenley wrote:

The image above is a webcam by the way, i just noticed it keeps changing.

Must be a localized solar eclipse?! Rolling Eyes

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@tsarstepan,

Either that, or it's dark Wink

Who knows...

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@AbbieMcKenley,

I'm sure it will be wierd, but that's ok. It will be what it will be and then that first day back will be behind you. I hope some of your close friends will be there for you as you try to get back to some sense of normal.

Don't worry about eating around Lilia's pictures. It's perfectly fine to leave them where they are for now. The day will come when it's the right time to find a safe place to store them. They're where they should be for the time being -- out where each of you can see them. They may make you smile or feel sad, or sometimes a combination of both. It's all hard, but it's good to have feelings.

1 Reply

@JPB,

Just finished Spanish and History coursework, onto Psychology now.
Wierdest part is being in my room, Lil's bed's right oppersite mine, everything looks like she's still here, her bed still hasn't been made, the mirror still has a smiley face draw in lip gloss and her clothes are dotted about. We spoke to a one of the doctors today when we went to visit one of Lilia's friends, i told him that Indi still didn't understand that she'd died and he told us to tell him she'd gone into the sky to be a star. Well, since we told him that he goes outside every 10 minutes to shout that he "want Li Li down now". Note to self, doctors are not councillers.

But yeah, i guess your right, eventually it won't seem wierd to put away some of her clothes or whatever but right now, at least i can forget that she's gone.
I actually do sometimes, it feels like she's just gone away to camp again, or is in hospital or something. More than a week already.

And thanks by the way everyone for putting up with my occasional rants. This is the only place that i can say what i think without being told that i need to stay strong for my family.

1 Reply

@AbbieMcKenley,

Good morning, Abbie. (Well it is where I am.)

Quote:

Just finished Spanish and History coursework, onto Psychology now.

So back to school tomorrow? Best of luck with it. I'm hoping that your teachers are aware of what's been happening in your life. And why you (perhaps) might not be 100% "focused" for a while. Yes, I'm sure they would be aware, from what I've learned about your parents from you. And also from who you are.
I'm curious, apart from Spanish & History, what else will you be studying? (I'm a teacher, but don't hold that against me, OK? Wink

)
I'm hoping you have a really good friend (or more) at school. And that your school has a decent councilor, should you need/want support, or just someone to talk to.

Quote:

We spoke to a one of the doctors today when we went to visit one of Lilia's friends, i told him that Indi still didn't understand that she'd died and he told us to tell him she'd gone into the sky to be a star. Well, since we told him that he goes outside every 10 minutes to shout that he "want Li Li down now". Note to self, doctors are not councillers.

That's terribly sad. I feel for him and I feel for you. I feel for all of you & what you're going through. What's the best way to explain death to a little kid? I really don't know the answer to that. I wish I did. Poor little boy.

Quote:

And thanks by the way everyone for putting up with my occasional rants. This is the only place that i can say what i think without being told that i need to stay strong for my family.

Absolutely no need to thank anyone, Abbie. I'm certain that others here would feel the same. It has been a privilege to talk with you. And a pleasure to get to know you a little. Talk/vent any time you need or want to, OK?
Best of luck for tomorrow. I hope you manage a better night's sleep before the big day.

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@msolga,

Well, umm, i take all the Sciencey stuff (Biology, Chemistry and Physics) Maths, Spanish and English, Psychology, History, Art, Photography, Statistics, Media Studies and Citizenship.
Citizenship is the worst, it's just all about the political system and whatever but fortunatly, one you get into year 10 that class is optional, so we can do prep instead.

Yep, the school knows whats been going on, they won't know yet that she's died but my uncles insisting that he comes in with me tomorrow and explains,
Embarrassed

The thing we didn't realise is that my brother thought that death was temperary, which has been differcult to explain, he's too young to really comprehend "forever" so unfortunatly, today he seems to have got it.

My friends have been great, Joe especially, i've known him since we were about 4 and he's dutifully kept his hair to at most centimeter long since Lilia lost hers and often shaved it all off upon her request, i guess he can grow it now.

Quote:

Absolutely no need to thank anyone, Abbie. I'm certain that others here would feel the same. It has been a privilege to talk with you. And a pleasure to get to know you a little. Talk/vent any time you need or want to, OK?
Best of luck for tomorrow. I hope you manage a better night's sleep before the big day.

Okay. Ta. (:

1 Reply

@AbbieMcKenley,

AbbieMcKenley wrote:

He's white, skinny and blond, beleive me, on him, John would be edging on girly.

Aside from that, there was some TV program with a girl called Indigo on.

No boys going to want the same name as a girl

How did he acquire the middle name of Indigo?

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@OmSigDAVID,

My middle name is Coral, Lilia's is Skye, My sister May's is Amber, i think they just decided to stick to the theme. Not realy sure why they came up with that theme Smile

1 Reply

What a crappy day.

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