Just need to vent

@Intrepid,

Being glad for what you have doesn't mean you can't see when you're being treated poorly, or get something that upsets you off your chest.

And bringing your holier-than-thou "we should count our blessings" BS onto a thread that explicitly states it's about venting is really low class.

Why did you even bother to check in, Your Serenity?

2 Replies

@DrewDad,

DrewDad wrote:

Being glad for what you have doesn't mean you can't see when you're being treated poorly, or get something that upsets you off your chest.

And bringing your holier-than-thou "we should count our blessings" BS onto a thread that explicitly states it's about venting is really low class.

Why did you even bother to check in, Your Serenity?

Drown in your misery if you wish. I don't see anything holier than thou about it. I am glad that you are bring some class to this thread. Are you venting or are you just having a bad day?

1 Reply

@chai2,

Oh yeah, that sucks. Priorities all out of whack.

I hope you feel better soon.

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@DrewDad,

Actually, I don't know why I replied to you. I had already apologized in a post before you tore into me.

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@Intrepid,

Intrepid wrote:

Drown in your misery if you wish.

Are those the only two options you see? Drown in misery or forced serenity?

How sad for you.

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wow....got quite a few responses.

thanks all.

yeah, everythings fine, there was not a major health crisis or anything, just some unexpected things of such importance that they needed to be taken care of immediately.

boomer, it's not like she's a "c word", she is just one of those people who are totally oblivious to the fact that work is not the sole reason for their existance.

she's honestly unaware that most other people, although they may love their job and be attentive to it, put thoughts of work to the side when they have a personal issue of such a level that they need to take off time to deal with it.

She's also not real savy about the fact that people with diverse backgrounds and cultures think differently about many things, and have different proiorities, and different ways of communicating with others.

To be frank, she's pretty much a typical Ugly American.

****, she's even ugly to a lot of fellow americans.

example...

oh god I cringe when I think about this....

A couple years back, a new director, let's call him Seymour Rosenberg, had moved here from Long Island, and Boss was going to be trading some of her area with him. She was going to be spending time with him educating him about the various medical directors, their hot buttons, etc.

She said to Seymor "Most of the medical directors are fine, some are more challenging to deal with. I think the worst is Dr. Levinson. He can be very difficult to reason with. You know Seymour, I really think the reason he's like that is because he's a New York Jew."

Neutral

Oy

2 Replies

@alex240101,

alex240101 wrote:

Good day chai2.
Once upon a time, I worked for a company (five people). In twelve years, never had a sick day. Two owners. Good cop, bad cop. If it wasn't for good owner,...no one would be there. Years ago, my mom passed. Middle of an important project. (aren't they all). After taking three days off, I arrived at work to be hammered over project, and my absence. A condolence would of been nice.

Things became clear to me that day.

What became clear to u ?

1 Reply

@Intrepid,

Intrepid wrote:

Many people cannot take a day off work. They do not have a job.

Yeah, I don 't have a job, but this is not the right thread to gloat, Richard.

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

Good day OmsigDavid.
What became clear is: Business is business. Personal feelings need checked at the door. Don't take a bosses actions or attitude personal. This applied to my situation.

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@chai2,

Quote:

She said to Seymor "Most of the medical directors are fine, some are more challenging to deal with. I think the worst is Dr. Levinson. He can be very difficult to reason with. You know Seymour, I really think the reason he's like that is because he's a New York Jew."

You soooo have your hands full with this one. She's a doozy.

Quote:

oh god I cringe when I think about this....

I feel for you. I think around the holidays you ought to casually say something like, "Oh, my Jewish friends are coming from New York this year, we're so excited we're celebrating Hannukah."

1 Reply

@chai2,

What a charming individual. I suggest you bring in latkes to the next staff meeting.

Actually -- really -- I see this, too. Not so much the ugly Americanism as the "work is oh so wonderful and why would anyone want to do anything else, ever?" attitude here and I just shake my head. I mean, what's the good of a day off if you can't spend it, I dunno, not spending it working???

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@Gala,

Gala wrote:

Quote:
She said to Seymor "Most of the medical directors are fine, some are more challenging to deal with. I think the worst is Dr. Levinson. He can be very difficult to reason with. You know Seymour, I really think the reason he's like that is because he's a New York Jew."

You soooo have your hands full with this one. She's a doozy.

Quote:
oh god I cringe when I think about this....

I feel for you. I think around the holidays you ought to casually say something like, "Oh, my Jewish friends are coming from New York this year, we're so excited we're celebrating Hannukah."

oh believe me, I've had a lot of fun with her over the years.

Like when my step daughter got married...to another woman.

I'll admit, I've had a tiny bit of perverse pleasure sometimes having a conversation with someone else, someone more opened minded, in her presence, about just about anything that isn't Republican, Southern Baptist, ham and swiss on white bread with mayo, straight and narrow.

you can tell she's just so totally appalled.

http://www.sethbarnes.com/blogphotos/sethbarnes/www/church_lady.jpg

Actually the above is a pretty good likeness.

1 Reply

@chai2,

Quote:

oh believe me, I've had a lot of fun with her over the years.

Like when my step daughter got married...to another woman.

That made me laugh outloud.

Your boss has so many challenges.

Quote:

I'll admit, I've had a tiny bit of perverse pleasure sometimes having a conversation with someone else, someone more opened minded, in her presence, about just about anything that isn't Republican, Southern Baptist, ham and swiss on white bread with mayo, straight and narrow.

you can tell she's just so totally appalled.

I had a boss who was completely clueless in a different way and I would have conversations around him that would highlight how socially inept he was. In the end, those conversations backfired because he was such a power-tripper.

I saw your post about getting her the birthday gift of the the football logo phone holder. Does she get you a gift on your birthday? If so, what has she given you?

1 Reply

The advice to "vent away" is good, and venting is therapeutic.

The advice to find the silver lining, count your blessings, etc., is also good, and also therapeutic.

You may or may not be able to change your circumstances -- or your boss -- but you can always change your attitude. Might not be easy, but you can do it. Good luck.

2 Replies

@Gala,

Gala wrote:

I saw your post about getting her the birthday gift of the the football logo phone holder. Does she get you a gift on your birthday? If so, what has she given you?

Oh God, she always makes a big deal out of everyone's birthday. Even when you don't feel comfortable with it. I'm going away on a weeks vacation in a couple of weeks, and I honestly made a small effort to plan it so I'd be gone on my birthday.
I'm not big on having attention paid to me. I figure everyone has a birthday, it's really not something to make a fuss over once you're past 10 years old.

While I certainly enjoy someone remembering it's my birthday, and having say to me "Happy Birthday" I sincerely don't want it to go any futher than that.

I say "thanks" and then move on with my day.

Yes, I've gotten gift cards, books, dvds from her. She's been very generous with me over the years, sharing monetary bonuses she's gotten, and paying me well.

Honestly, it is not like she's a evil person. She's not pretending to be oblivious to get things to go her way. She really is oblivious.

To Intepid and anyone else who is thinking I should be grateful I have a job, etc., you're totally missing the point. It's not important to me if I'm able to say something to get you to understand, because you'll just disect it, talk around it, and in general just make a big deal about whatever I said/you said.

Tico....I believe laughter is the best medicine.

Venting and laughing about something obliterates any power it might have over you.

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@Ticomaya,

My advice to you, Ticomaya, is to not give advice, and to stop smoking cigars.
Anyone with half a brain reading chai's posts knows she's grateful she has a good job.

1 Reply

@Gala,

Gala wrote:

My advice to you, Ticomaya, is to not give advice, and to stop smoking cigars.

But giving advice is what I do!

No, seriously ... I know you find it hard to believe, but people pay me money to give them advice. It's sorta my day job.

So, tell me ... what part of my post do you think is bad advice?

Quote:

Anyone with half a brain reading chai's posts knows she's grateful she has a good job.

What's your point? I never said she wasn't grateful, did I?

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@Ticomaya,

Well, I'm not Gala, but I thought this part was kind of beside the point:

Ticomaya wrote:

You may or may not be able to change your circumstances -- or your boss -- but you can always change your attitude. Might not be easy, but you can do it. Good luck.

Your advice here seems to be that she should change her attitude... is it? If so, why? Her attitude seems fine to me -- vent, sigh, and get back to things feeling a little better for having vented.

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@Ticomaya,

Ticomaya wrote:

Gala wrote:
My advice to you, Ticomaya, is to not give advice, and to stop smoking cigars.

But giving advice is what I do!

No, seriously ... I know you find it hard to believe, but people pay me money to give them advice. It's sorta my day job.

So, tell me ... what part of my post do you think is bad advice?

Quote:
Anyone with half a brain reading chai's posts knows she's grateful she has a good job.

What's your point? I never said she wasn't grateful, did I?

Ticomaya wrote:

Gala wrote:
My advice to you, Ticomaya, is to not give advice, and to stop smoking cigars.

But giving advice is what I do!

No, seriously ... I know you find it hard to believe, but people pay me money to give them advice. It's sorta my day job.

So, tell me ... what part of my post do you think is bad advice?

Quote:
Anyone with half a brain reading chai's posts knows she's grateful she has a good job.

What's your point? I never said she wasn't grateful, did I?

well, speaking from the horses mouth, I can tell you what didn't feel too nifty about your advice.

telling me I can change my attitude, when from what I can see, my attitude during this entire thread has been peachy.

I stated up front I wanted to Just Vent, meaning I wasn't looking for any type of advice in the first place....so maybe that's something else bad about your advice, I wasn't seeking it from anyone.

so...that's two things.

under #2 there's the letting me know I had the option of looking for a silver lining, count my blessings, etc. Well, that's nice of you to point out to me, but nothing I've said indicates I don't see the good in my life, or that I was hopelessly miserable.

Like I said before, laughters the best medicine, and doing a vent for me just shows how ridiculous life really is, puts it in perspective, and treats it with humor.

Wishing me luck?
With what?
I wasn't asking anyone to change. I don't want to make anyone change. Even if I wanted to, I can't change anyone else.

I also wasn't looking to change myself, as I was doing what I thought was a perfectly reasonable and healthy thing. I think it was a fine choice.
Talking, then joking about it with friends.

What kind of advice do you give people during your day job?

It doesn't sound like a therapists advice, because from my experience, they don't give advice, but guide you to verbalize and come up with your own solutions. Solutions that may not work for the therapist, but for you.

I don't think I would pay someone to Tell me to look for a silver lining, or count my blessings.
Mostly because I'm not 8 years old, but also because when someone gives tired old advice like that, it sounds like they weren't even listening to you in the first place.

Now, before you take this for a rant...it's not.

You asked what was wrong with your advice, so I figured I'd let you know how it was wrong for me.

Now, if I came here on a regular basis, venting about the same thing, over a long period of time, sure, advise me to lighten up and look for the silver lining.

But when I hear someone come on and just need to get it out of their system, then apparantly is much better for it, I figured they worked it out.

Dead serious here tico...please don't come back telling me that's not what I sounded like, that I needed advice apparantly, how I sound right now, etc.

If you were paying any attention at all, you'd have seen I was totally over it by my 2nd post, and anything else I was saying after that was totally in the spirit of gossipy fun.

Then again, if you feel you can come back and tell me how I'm obviously not over it, you're just stirring the pot, and using it as an attention getting device.

Why not tell about a nutty boss you have?

I love nutty boss stories.

2 Replies

@chai2,

Ya know, every silver lining has a cloud. Just sayin...

0 Replies

Just need to vent

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