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Why DO I Push Men Away When I Get Close

Forums: Relationships, Crack Addict 27 Years, Feelings Understood
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LeonaBanks
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Nov, 2009 09:48 am
@Joeblow,
I didn't mean it to say people want Jesus Christ mother Mary. I was just trying to make a point. It doesn't matter how good some women are men still are never satisfied. Let me not say "men" but most men not all.
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Nov, 2009 10:13 am
@LeonaBanks,
Quote:
Honey I do take time to get to know a man before I decide to sleep with them


Good Good.

Now let me ask you a question Leona. Why do YOU think you have an issue with "familiarity breeds contempt"? Why do you push them away after a certain amount of time?
LeonaBanks
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Nov, 2009 12:06 pm
@panzade,
I need a certain amount of space. I have always been like that. I don't have contempt for them. I just need space to recharge my mental battery. Also, you know how men are so easy to get bored or restless, well I like the space to come up with new ideas, with having them miss you for a while so they can look forward to spending time with you again and me likewise. I enjoy THINKING and I do that best when I'm alone.
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Nov, 2009 12:12 pm
@LeonaBanks,
I don't see anything wrong with your way of looking for space.Eventually you'll find someone who mirrors your desires. Good luck.
0 Replies
 
BorisKitten
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Nov, 2009 03:51 pm
@LeonaBanks,
Quote:
@panzade,
Honey I do take time to get to know a man before I decide to sleep with them. I ALWAYS have the 3 month rule. A person wouldn't just hand someone the keys to their house or car without really knowing a person. My body is worth so much more than material things. I want to get to know the person. My body is very sacred to me and when I decide to share it, I don't take that lightly.

Oh hon, if your body is so sacred to you, why would you share it with someone who's been a crack addict for the past 27 years? And if you "got to know a man before you slept with them," then why did you end up with this lying sack of ****?
LeonaBanks
 
  0  
Reply Sun 8 Nov, 2009 07:37 am
@BorisKitten,
Because when I met him at a stress managment class he was not a crack user. He was in recovery and had years of clean time under his belt.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Nov, 2009 08:53 am
@LeonaBanks,
So what are you going to do now? You going to leave the loser or go to therapy or what? What's your plan?
LeonaBanks
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2009 11:13 am
@Mame,
Sweetie, I assure you I dropped that loser and there is no going or looking back. Trust!!!
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2009 03:13 pm
http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii287/malcolmjavarb/crack.jpg
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Mon 9 Nov, 2009 04:07 pm
@shewolfnm,
You always come up with the weirdest things, well, you and dj. What's with you two?
0 Replies
 
amcadam14
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2010 10:00 am
@LeonaBanks,
Ugh - I'm the same way. I like my space, and I can't stand how clingy guys are, it irritates me! I am independent and want to do my own thing at times, and I push guys away who don't allow that. I don't want to push them away because some of them, especially the most recent one, is such a good guy and I could potentially see myself with him for the long haul, but I just can't get past the clingyness!
0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Nov, 2010 12:21 pm
Ahh... I thought Leona had returned. Sad She's been away since January. Wonder what's she's been up to and who she's been ... dating. Rolling Eyes

0 Replies
 
JapaBee
 
  1  
Reply Sun 29 Jan, 2012 03:08 pm
@Sglass,
I have this same issue, and I never knew why. I can be attracted to a man, but when he starts to be vulnerable with me, and start acting more intimate with me, I want to get as far away as possible from him. My mother was and still is an extreme emotional alcoholic. I've been dealing with it ever since I was 7. Is this why I can't form relationships with men? It doesn't make any sense.
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Sun 29 Jan, 2012 07:45 pm
@JapaBee,
Your relationship with your father might have more bearing on your fear of intimacy. What were the dynamics of that relationship?
0 Replies
 
anonymously99stwin
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jan, 2014 03:40 pm
@LeonaBanks,
Quote:
"Why do i push men away? It's starting to bother me that when I get close to a man, I then all of a sudden go cold and want to be left on my own. I have lost some very decent guys in my life because of this but I don’t understand why i do it..any ideas or is anyone else the same?"


I understand how you feel. Or felt.

No telling how you're doing today, or how you have been since you've posted this.
0 Replies
 
 

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