Sonny

I visited my mom and sister and brother-in-law and niece and grandniece in NC over the last couple of days b/c of my mom's birthday. It happens that I got to see and spend a little time with Sonny, the ole terrier-mix dawg who was my dog in my first marriage, and who went to live with my mom and then my sister when I got separated from my 1st wife, back in 2001.

Sonny is probably about 14 years old now, and in poor health. My sister has been a real trooper as far as the care of him - she's nursed him through a terrible ear infection, enlarged heart condition, bad arthritis and a couple other things.

When I got him from the Humane society in Hawaii, sonny was 8 months old and the sweetest dog. He took to us immediately like he was at home from the first. He adopted a 4 week old kitten just like it was another puppy, and he was a joy to be with - ran like the wind, could almost seem to be laughing when he played - with his tongue hanging out and his eyes ablaze with life.

Now sonny can barely walk 100 feet before he begins to labor and cough. His legs are so stiff he slips and falls often. His skin sags off of a bony frame, and his eyes are clouded over. The only time he seems even a little happy is when my sister feeds him his custom made diet of boiled chicken, rice and cooked pumpkin. He is somewhat perked up for those few minutes, then he either painfully slumps back down to sleep, or lies there with his head on his paws, looking sad.

A couple weeks ago, my sister had decided to go on and put him to sleep - she called me and we cried about it together. But somehow sonny must have sensed something was up, and he perked up noticably for several days - even following her upstairs to her house office for the first time in months and months - it had become too hard and painful, but somehow he got the gumption to do it. So he got a reprieve 'cause it was almost like he was saying "See, guys? I've still got some kick left in me!"

But when I visited, I got the feeling he was telling me to let him go. He would stare at me, and come over to me and bow his head and let me just feel him all over as if to say "Hey man, you of all people must know how crappy I feel - you knew me when I could run all day!"

This morning at 4:30 AM the thought that woke me up was that Sonny was trying to tell me to help him go. So I emailed my sister that I think its time.

This is why I sometimes feel like I'll never let another pet into my heart. It is pretty wrenching stuff. This is a picture of me and ole dawg taken the other day...