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So I was talking to my friend Dick....

 
 
Reply Sun 13 Sep, 2009 08:40 pm
You know Dick, he's the one with the two <insert breed> dogs who brings the dogs to <that place>?

<insert confused look>

Dick! The guy who teaches at <insanely expensive private school> where you hope Mo will get some kind of <Catholic> scholorship. Dick..... the <insert thing> guy. The one who lives around the corner.......

<insert confused look>

You met his wife <insert name> at <insert name> party a few weeks ago. She had black hair and she said <this stuff>. You know Dick.

So I was talking to Dick and I said.....








Mr. B <caustically>: "I didn't even know you had a friend named "Dick....."

.............

Mr. B and I have been together for more than 20 years. He knows I adore him. He adores me. Jealousy has never been an "issue" for us.

Mr. B is kind of pissed about "my friend Dick".

WTF?

I am discombobulated.

Let us explore jealousy.

What has made you feel jealous?

Was your jealousy justified?

Was being jealous like drinking poision?
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Type: Question • Score: 10 • Views: 1,919 • Replies: 18

 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Sep, 2009 08:43 pm
Since I asked, I'll go first.

When Mr. B. was in college he took this hot chick on a ski trip where "nothing happened" while I sat at home writing checks to pay his Visa bill.

I went bat-**** when I found out about it.

But that's where I learned that I would never be involved in a relationship that sparked those feelings in me.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Sep, 2009 09:53 pm
@boomerang,
<inserts another confused look>
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  7  
Reply Sun 13 Sep, 2009 09:55 pm
@boomerang,
boomerang wrote:
Dick..... the <insert thing> guy.

This line is not helping your cause.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Sep, 2009 10:29 pm
thinkin' your friend should be harold, or stanley.

although there was a dude philo that mighta been the exception to that rule.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  2  
Reply Sun 13 Sep, 2009 10:34 pm
I'd liked to help you, but as so many people have pointed out . . . i don't know Dick . . .
0 Replies
 
Diest TKO
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 02:00 am
@DrewDad,
DrewDad wrote:

boomerang wrote:
Dick..... the <insert thing> guy.

This line is not helping your cause.

Yeah. I know the guy.

T
K
O
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  2  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 05:30 am
@boomerang,
boomerang wrote:

But that's where I learned that I would never be involved in a relationship that sparked those feelings in me.


ha! being in a relationship where those feelings are not sparked...aint all it is cracked up to be.

well

its just boring.
0 Replies
 
Gala
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 06:52 am
@boomerang,
why am i not understanding this post? you stayed home while your future husband went galivanting with some other huzzy? you vowed never to put yourself in that situation again and you married him? who is dick-- some guy who your husband is jealous of?





0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 09:46 am
I suppose I should have given Dick an alias!

But the fact is, his name is Dick.

So anyway.

My point is that most jealous moments are not sparked from anything requiring jealousy.

Mr. B's friend wasn't a hussy. She was a pretty cool girl who had the time, gas money and most importantly, unlike me, she knew how to ski.

Frankly, I would have been bored out of my mind had I been invited along.

What I learned from my jealous moment is that my friends (including Mr. B (what at that point was not my husband (that might have changed things))) are allowed to have fun and have friends and it really isn't about me at all. And that's okay.

My jealousy only hurt me.
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 12:37 pm
@boomerang,
My presence on A2K is in no small part because of a period of time when I was way jealous.

Let me explain.

I graduated from college with a degree in English. As everyone knows -- even me, but the degree was so damn fun that I went ahead with it anyway -- an English degree is useless when it comes to getting a job. So for several months, in between graduating and getting my **** together and going back to school to get my master's in Deaf ed, I was marooned at home with nothing to do.

My brain does baaaaad things when I have nothing to do.

E.G. was working so I was home alone. (We'd been together for a couple of years at that point, and lived together.) I was looking for a notepad and found one of his, opened it up, and found an old note from his ex-girlfriend. She'd presumably written it for him to randomly find later. Except I found it.

I went cah-razy. I knew she was an ex, I knew that she hadn't, like, sneaked into our house and written it, I just couldn't stand thinking about it. (It was a rather explicit note. Not Penthouse letters, but more than I wanted to think about.) It was really, really bad, and took a lot of willpower (and talking-down from E.G.) to get over it.

When I quit my job and moved at 6 months pregnant, much later (nine years ago), I knew that I'd have to keep my mind occupied to prevent further freak-outs (and general badness. Must. Keep. Little grey cells. Busy.). Which is where Abuzz (and later A2K) came in.
sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 01:34 pm
Know this:
Women pay attention to HOW thing are said.
Men pay attention to WHAT is said.

As soon as you said, "My friend, Dick" - that's all he heard.

Ignore him. Let it pass.
0 Replies
 
Gala
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 01:37 pm
@boomerang,
Ah. Thanks for the explanation. Now I understand. Mr. B got jealous over Dick (ha) when there was no reason to.



0 Replies
 
Gala
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 02:28 pm
@boomerang,
You know, I had to return to this because my initial thought was : I don't get jealous..."

Poppycock. I get jealous over so many things. If it were boyfriends, I'd be fine, that would be normal...but my hang-ups range far and wide when it comes to just about everything. I always have to step back from it, because I understand it comes from family and growing up. And it's true, it's not about me.
0 Replies
 
Gala
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 02:29 pm
@sozobe,
yeah, but you managed to divert yourself and it passed...as long as you know that about yourself, right?
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Sep, 2009 03:36 pm
I'm mostly not the jealous type (she says). Well, I've rarely had reason to be though I'm not stupid in the ways of the world. The time I did get jealous, I was correct. That's worse (end of story).

So, what am I saying, the protective instinct of jealousy is there for a reason. It just happens to have this big tendency to go cattywampus for all parties when it is often misplaced.
Gala
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Sep, 2009 05:28 am
@ossobuco,
Osso, what's the reason for jealousy?
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Sep, 2009 08:58 am
@Gala,
I don't know if reason comes into its appearance in your heart or mind - I think it's nearer an instinct having to do with fear of loss. I'm no expert as I don't have that much practice with it.
0 Replies
 
Eorl
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Sep, 2009 08:56 am
@boomerang,
One thought he may have had was "who chooses to be known as "Dick" these days? and why? Surely his name is really Richard"
0 Replies
 
 

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