Introducing, "shitmydadsays"

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Please enjoy this twitter blog I found. It's called "shitmydadsays."

Author: Justin

Bio: I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down **** that he says

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

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Type: Discussion • Score: 8 • Views: 5,647 • Replies: 42

[+3] - aidan - 08/25/2009This guy's funny. I like the ones about the baby: [quote]"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for ****. Just sat there. Big let...
[+3] - chai2 - 08/25/2009This one is signature line worthy.... "I didn't live to be 73 years old so I could eat kale"
[+3] - edgarblythe - 02/13/2013Even though I don't believe in Jesus, I tend to tell certain people that, since nobody knows when to celebrate his birth, there's nothing wrong with picking Dec 25. If no one knows an orphan's...

@Gargamel,

Quote:

Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I'll answer.

Damn straight.

0 Replies

@Gargamel,

That is funny! That's a cute old man.

1 Reply

I love dads logic...

"They serve Jim Beam on airplanes. Tastes like piss. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference, because you drink ****. I don't."

******* airplanes.

0 Replies

@mismi,

mismi wrote:

That is funny! That's a cute old man.

oh yeah.
cute until you have to live with him.

you take a hose, you put it over the plant, you bum you.

no, really, sam is officially cool.

joni! I'm kidding!

1 Reply

@Gargamel,

Jesus, I can't wait to see what dad says next.

C'mon Justin, let's go already, you've gotten this twitter thingie, type already.

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beat me too it, i just started following this guy this morning

0 Replies

@chai2,

Chai said

Quote:

oh yeah.
cute until you have to live with him.

Thankfully I don't have to live with him... Shocked

. But from here - he's quite entertaining.

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@Gargamel,

yeah.

1 Reply

@dyslexia,

This guy's funny.
I like the ones about the baby:

Quote:

"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for ****. Just sat there. Big let down."

and dog:

Quote:

"The dog is not bored, it's a ******* dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a ******* rubix cube. He's a god damned dog

Wouldn't want to be the brother.

I can't picture a guy like this agreeing to name his son Justin though. I can picture him saying, when Joni suggested the name 28 years ago - 'Justin?! What the hell kind of name is that?! Let's call the kid Ed.'

2 Replies

@aidan,

I keep hearing those lines in a Walter Matthau voice

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1196/840049516_38e4d18346.jpg

2 Replies

@panzade,

"Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."

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This one is signature line worthy....

"I didn't live to be 73 years old so I could eat kale"

0 Replies

@panzade,

Quote:

I keep hearing those lines in a Walter Matthau voice

He'd have been perfect- too bad he died- when they turn this into a sitcom (Archie Bunker circa 2009)- the casting agents will be floundering around, desperately searching for a Walter Matthau clone.

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@Gargamel,

"I like See's candy. Put me in a See's store, I'm eating candy. The whole world is Tiger's See's store, and the candy is vagina."
11:14 AM Dec 14th, 2009 from web

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

"It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works."

so true.

1 Reply

@chai2,

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."

1 Reply

@chai2,

ok, I am going to HAVE to use this line some day.....

"You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again after your bullshit dies out over someone else's house."

Introducing, "shitmydadsays"

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