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hey, please have a look at it-my ideal house!

 
 
Reply Wed 12 Aug, 2009 08:29 am
hi, guys! The following is my description of my ideal house. Please make some comments for me. I'll appreciate if you correct my errors.

Let me see…my ideal house would be a villa.
I’d like to live there as it has a spacious living room, a roomy kitchen, some bathrooms, a swimming pool, and a backyard for flowers and vegetables. Most importantly, it should have a couple of cozy bedrooms with different types. And hopefully, there would be a small gym in my house.
The special features of it, of course, are the bedrooms. There would be several styles--modern northern European, ancient Chinese, classical European, Indian, African…Thus, I can choose to stay in the modern northern European bedroom in Monday, the ancient Chinese bedroom in Tuesday and the like. All depends on my mood in that day. What else? Oh, the swing set. I am always hoping to have a swing set in my backyard. Frequently, I could sit on it with my future husband and my future children.
Such a house would cost at least 5 million Renminbi in cities like Shanghai and Beijing, so I guess, unless I get the first price in the lottery, it’s nothing more than a dream for me.
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CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Aug, 2009 08:51 am
What would we be without our dreams? Wink
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Robert Gentel
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Aug, 2009 08:39 am
@jinmin1988,
jinmin1988 wrote:
Let me see…my ideal house would be a villa .
I’d like to live there as it has
with a spacious living room, a roomy kitchen, some bathrooms, a swimming pool, and a backyard for flowers and vegetables.


This edit was made because you are referring to a villas in general in the first sentence, but then begin to speak in a way that indicates a specific villa. Another way to make the sentences match would be to say something like:

"My ideal house would be a villa. I'd like to live in one with...."

or

"My ideal house would be a villa. I'd like to live in one as they have..."

Quote:
Most importantly, it should have a couple of cozy bedrooms with of different types.


Even better would be something like "a couple of cozy, but individually different, bedrooms."

Quote:
And hopefully, there would be a small gym in my house.
The special features of it, of course, are the bedrooms. There would be several styles -- such as modern northern European, ancient Chinese, classical European, Indian, and African…Thus, so I can choose to stay in the modern northern European bedroom in on Monday, the ancient Chinese bedroom in on Tuesday and the like so on. All depends depending on my mood in that day. What else? Oh, the swing set. I am always hoping have always hoped to have a swing set in my backyard. Frequently, I could sit on it with my future husband and my future children.
Such a house would cost at least 5 million Renminbi in cities like Shanghai and Beijing, so I guess, unless I get the first price prize in the lottery, it’s nothing more than a dream for me.


Note that, as usual, I didn't pay attention to punctuation when editing.
jinmin1988
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Aug, 2009 05:47 pm
@Robert Gentel,
Thanks a lot!
0 Replies
 
proofreadmyfile
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2015 12:29 am
@jinmin1988,
Hi jinmin1988
"European bedroom in Monday, the ancient Chinese bedroom in Tuesday and the like."
You have written in Monday, in Tuesday but it should be on Monday, on Tuesday
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Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2015 12:34 am
"a couple" means two.

If you want to have so many different bedroom styles, you will need more than a couple of bedrooms.

Many bedrooms?

Numerous bedrooms?

Several bedrooms?
0 Replies
 
 

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