I'm getting MARRIED next year and my FIRST LOVE is BACK!!

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Good morning,

I'm getting married next year and I've been with my fiancé for 10 years now. I was only 16 years old when we started our relationship and he was 23 years old. We always had a nice relationship, nothing unfaithful or anything and he is a really great guy for me. I know that he adores me....We don't have any children, but plan on having at least 2.

In the past, when I was only 13 years old, I met my first love! We only dated for a couple of months, but it ended because I was too young to have a relationship and my parents were strict! We ended up not talking anymore;however, I always tought about him during my relationship with my current fiancé. Not everyday but he was always in my heart, if you know what I mean. Just recently, I threw away his love letters, thinking that I would never see him or talk to him again!

During last April, we started talking on Facebook. Now, we talk all the time and we developped some feelings for each other! He has a girlfriend and two children, and I feel really bad about it! Sad

We seem to have a lot in common and now I have doubts if I should get married or not! My family and friends already know about it, the date is set and everything is booked, my wedding invitations are already bought....

Next week I will be on vacation alone at my parents house. So, we agreed to meet for one night only...This is my big question: Should I or should I not meet with him for one night only???? If I was already married, I know for a fact that I would never be unfaithful to my husband, but I'm not married yet. I've never slept with another man only my current fiancé. Sometimes I'm afraid that this will affect my relationship with my current fiancé. I didn't get a chance to enjoy my teenage years. My heart tells me that I should go, but I'm afraid at the same time. What does it mean if a love from your past comes back to you? PLEASE HELP!!!

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Considering you were only 13 years old, you might be in for a surprise when
you'll see your "first love" again. On the other hand, you were only 16 years old
when you met your fiance and you have been with him ever since - 10 years!

It is perfectly normal to have these feelings, and I suggest you do meet your
"first love", however I also would advise you to hold off on the wedding.
You were too young to commit yourself to someone that much older and
the outlook in life from a 16 year old is quite different than that from a
26 year old one. Go out and experience life a bit before settling down!

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

Thank you for the advice! I really appreciate it! Smile

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He has a girlfriend and 2 kids?

And you want to mess around with him?

ye gods, girl.

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@Mimi4567,

I meet my current partner he was married at the time but not happy and I was with somebody it was fate we were meant to be together we have been together now for 15 years. I meet him at work and I was his boss. Big risks were worth it.
I say go for it your heart will tell u when u meet u might regret it forever otherwise. Good Luck I am dying to know hat happens.

1 Reply

@adippered,

Thanks! I do believe in faith too and I'm afraid that I will regret it if I don't go, like you said! And you never know, maybe it won't click when I see him, it's been almost 13 years since I saw him the last time....I'll keep you posted! Smile

1 Reply

@Mimi4567,

Quote:

Next week I will be on vacation alone at my parents house. So, we agreed to meet for one night only...This is my big question: Should I or should I not meet with him for one night only????

Do you plan on having him come to your parents' house? That sounds like a dangerous thing. If it were me, I would met him, not in a romantic evening situation, but for lunch, with the sun shining.

It that way, I could satisfy my curiosity, without being swept up in a situation that I might regret later.

1 Reply

@Phoenix32890,

Hi Phoenix,

I have a feeling that it's going to be difficult for us to meet. We live in a small town (village) and everyone knows everyone. We have to be extremely careful for no one to see us together....But I do understand your point of view, you definitely got me thinking there...Thanks for the advice! Smile

1 Reply

@Mimi4567,

And no one have a moral problem with this setup? No one have a problem with betraying her soon to be husband?

Wonder if the shoe was on a male foot instead of a female foot the women here would be so all for this little get together?

1 Reply

@BillRM,

If it was a guy who has had - since his 16th birthday - a relationship with a woman 7 years his senior and he does not have any other experience to speak of, I would have told him the exact same thing.

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

Well that nice and I am also sure you are all for her being honest with her husband to be so he can end their relationship if he care to in the light of her even thinking of starting a relationship with another man who had children and in a relationship with the mother of those children.

Seem only fair to me and if she live in a small town it is very likely one way or another to get out in any case.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Bill, your jumping to conclusions. She has not said that she is looking for
a relationship, she is meeting an old love she's had when she was 13 years old.
She is 26 now! There is nothing wrong to meet up.

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

No I am not jumping to any conclusion and she is indeed from her posting thinking on how unfair it is that she had have only one sexual partner poor baby!

In any case if her friends and family members already are aware of this then her husband to be will be aware of it shortly so she might as well be up front with him as you said there is nothing wrong with her meeting up with the gentleman.

I am sure her husband to be will share your opinion along with the woman who had already given the gentleman two children that there is nothing wrong with "meeting" up.

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@Mimi4567,

imo i wouldnt go through with it. It is really unfair to both parties. And he has two kids. you really should take them into consideration here. If it is a friendly meet up as in hi how are you and not in a let's be lover's type of thing then that would be fine and you should be able to tell your future husband about it. But if not and you are having doubts maybe you shouldnt be getting married. =/ It shouldnt matter if you have only ever been with one person if you love the person it is with.

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Girl sounds like to me that you have contacted a case of "raging homones" that has given you leave of your senses.

You live in a small town? I was raised in a small town. Nothing goes unseen.

Between the two of you how many people would get hurt?

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1) get married AFTER you have matured. You had some important years "stunted" by an exclusive relationship that prevented you from getting some worldly experiences.

2) there will ALWAYS be men who will turn your head after you are married. But acting on these feelings is something you don't do after sharing vows .

3) there are consequnces to EVERYTHING you do. Free yourself FIRST, then explore other options.

1 Reply

@sullyfish6,

You do not act on those feelings before the vows either if you are in a relationship that is suppose to lead to marraige!

Yes her husband to be would be far better off it she broke up with him as who need a wife or future wife with that level of morals?

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Oh com'on Bill. - Just because Mimi wants to see an old flame does not entitle her to a scarlet letter.

I agree with the people who are concerned that Mimi has had little experience with men. Both her relationships started as an adolescent. She had never had a relationship as a mature woman.

Mimi- You might want to rethink your marriage. I have a very nice story. When I was in high school, there was a couple who were together all through school. They broke up when they each left for college. They felt that they had been too young, and wanted to explore different relationships.

Anyhow, I ran into the woman some years later. Apparently the couple had connected after college, and were to be married. I would expect that the marriage was a lot stronger than it would have been if they had married after high school, without having other, mature relationships.

1 Reply

@Phoenix32890,

Yes sure then she should break her relationship off with her husband to be and do whatever she care to even to taking part in breaking up another relationship with two children in it.

There is no way any of you however can spin meeting this man behind her future husband back and need I point out that she stated that she would not cheat on a husband and by so stating she is clearly implying that cheating on a man she if engaged to is another matter.

Yes there is no question she is looking forward to a scarlet letter or two.

Nice story about your friends and I would have no problem with her breaking off her relationship in fact I am of the opinion that the guy would be far better off without her but not going behind his back to have an affair with man with a family already that contain two children.

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@Mimi4567,

Hey!!! I would meet with your ex just to see how it is. Hold off on the wedding though, but you have to follow your heart. Good Luck!!!!

0 Replies

I'm getting MARRIED next year and my FIRST LOVE is BACK!!

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