What's inappropriate to bring up during a meeting with female/male girlfriend at a catch up

do not discuss sex, politics or how much money she has.

Nor how much you have.

In my culture, it is not inappropriate to discuss about money, I wonder why westerners are so again of the topic. I really need to know why so I can remember not to bring it up the next time. Otherwise, I keep forget to avoid the topic since it hadn't been seemed to be inappropriate to me during the most of time of my life when I was living in my country.

the idea of how much I have is an inappropriate topic just can't sink into hence I couldn't not understand why it is so toxic to a friendship. In my country, when people tell me they have more money than me, I am happy for them. When they tell me how much hardship they got through in order to get to this life style, I admired them and sincerely asking for tips. I just can't understand why this topic is just so inappropriate to westerners culture?

How boring...

I wouldn't shy away from sex, politics or money-- but that's me. Doesn't the advice "just be yourself" apply?

By all means, go with your own culture on this, assuming she is of the same culture. In my own culture, it would sound like I thought the chick were so shallow that she would like me for my money rather than personal qualities.

I'm rich, Brown. Want to come over and watch dirty movies?

Dirty movies don't do it for me.... but they are running the Sotomayor confirmation hearings on CSPAN. Your place or mine?

Well, you don't have a problem, do you, since you have neither.


Ooops, sorry! Thought you were dys.

No dirty movies. Heck, I can't even afford a pornograph. Have to be Brown's place.

I agree with ebrown. Be yourself and if people don't like you then too bad.

In my culture (which I think is the same as Roger's) the saying is to never discuss "religion or politics". But, I violate this rule all the time (and as I get older, I care less and less about cultural rules).

Politics and religion interest me... if someone I meet talks to me for more than 10 minutes (the first 10 minutes are usually reserved for inane pleasantries in any culture) the topic of politics or religion (or religious politics) is likely to come up. I have friends with different views on either of these topics, but they are people who can deal with me being vocal about my opinions.

I figure if I am going to connect with someone-- they are going to have to accept who I am (and I am going to have to accept who they are).

You don't make this connection without being real-- meaning you should talk about what interests you. You aren't going to connect in a meaningful way with everyone. If you aren't going to connect with a specific person anyway-- then why waste the time worrying about what they think is appropriate or not.

So I stand by my advice-- Just be yourself and don't worry about what is appropriate or not. By this I don't mean you should go out of your way to be obnoxious. I am just saying you shouldn't go out of your way worrying you might be inappropriate.

Life is for living.

Rog, I was referring to this post

oic

ha ha ha

for men--dont discuss how fat they got or how little hair is left on their heads.

for women-dont discuss how fat they got.


Politics and religion are lightning rod topics in Western Culture. Anyone who feels that they must open discussions with letting others know how they stand on everything is (to me) asking for trouble.
I have a friend who is always letting us know how incorrect our more liberal opinions are. Ive asked him to refrain from that tack of conversation unless we are alone and relly want to discuss it . Otherwise , hes just trying to establish territory and claim space like an alpha wolf.

If making folks uncomfortable is how one gets his jollies in opening conversations, Id reevaluate that persons worth as an acquaintence or friend.

Still, I have several other friends who differ with me on major political issues and we somehow always manage to maintain friendships over politics or other touchy areas. Basically we take away the use of TOXIC statements about things with which we differ . TOXIC statements are often rather judgemental positions taken more to enflame the other aisle rather than achieve some understanding.

This is a funny cultural topic.

People from Latin American cultures have a habit of referring to you by using physical characteristics as a nickname. People are much less hung up about physical characteristics even when it comes to weight or hair loss.

We refer to a couple of people in our family as "gorda" which when directly translated is the feminine form of the word "fat". A typical use would be "hey gorda, could you pass the mayonnaise"-- there is no offense meant or taken.

Assigning someone, particularly a woman, the nickname "fatty" in any European American family would cause no end of trouble.

I am often refered to as "pelón¨... which roughly means "baldy" (the nickname is not completely unwarranted). There is also a "negro" (someone with dark skin; negro is simply Spanish for the color black and doesn't have the offensive weight it has in English), a "flaco" (someone who is very skinny) and a panzón (an older gentleman with a expanding gut).

I was brought up in European-American family. This took a little adjusting to.

(American) Deaf culture is the same.

What is your culture, yahuiminnock? (I tried to decipher your name but couldn't figure it out -- you're in Nock?) I agree that this is a really culture-specific question, so if we're of a different culture than you it's hard to answer.

Thanks for you all. It is very interesting to view one issue from many different angles.