what do u think i should do ......

cool

vik u are 100% correct tanx ALOT and everything that u are saying is happening ....

one should learn to take posative criticizim !

tanx once again ....vik!

vik ..

what if she still does not want to talk and ignores everything that i do and im not sucking this out of my thum but this is how she is she can really ignore something ..

i will show her that im un happy ..i will show her how not talking makes me feel..Fine!

but what "IF" she does not even respond ,what if she does nothing about it and still wnats to live like this and what if she refuses to listein to anything that i ahve to say...

what does one do than!

at the moment i really dont think that she is ready for anything as to what happend to her in her past and she is imotionaly unstable and she just refuses to get any help and in that process its AFFECTING OUR RELATIONSHIP ALOT!

BUT LIKE IM SAYING SHE is a person that never talks about what is bothering her "she would rather go to bed with tears in her eyes" and the next morning its like nothing happens and that is how she handles thinh..

but i cant ...i solve things when there is a problem and it affects me when its not

so at this point i really have no idea what to do if she refuses to respond in anyway..

what do u think ...that i should do if there is no reaction/respons from her?

All of it.

The problem osso has with my saying that we men can't make any sense out of women is that it puts her in the position of saying that we can make sense out of them and I find that derogatory to women. Or a trick. The tender trap.

They are a law unto themselves and never more so than when they have economic equality and are "lookers". It is up us to deal with them as best we can. Agony Aunt type advice is posited on the Aunt's experience and prejudices.

The danger, as I see it, is thinking you can make sense out of her, which is a species of control, and getting self righteous about it. You have no rights.

There is a huge difference between 23 and 27.

She's just not ready for how serious you are, at this point.

Ease off and know that she must grow up more.

Hi Spendius - written word as you know, doesn't convey tonality, and tonality has to be intuited from wording.

We are all entitled to opinions, but sometimes, like your generic statement of 'all of it', our opinions are so flawed that they become ridiculous.



Nivesh,

We can't live our lives in fear of 'IF', though planning for such can sometimes be a good idea (eg. what happens IF you get hit when you cross a road?...do you live in fear of that? or plan for it? or just not worry too much about it?)

Just a thought : Sometimes you can love a girl to death, and yet not be compatible. Sometimes you can love a girl to death, and yet a relationship with her can make you miserable (ie. Love doesn't automatically = happiness). This may, or may not, apply to your situation.

As for what I personally would do if she was unwilling to talk - that would depend if she's always been like that, or just recently became like that...always been like that, and I'd extract myself from any relationship more than a friendship. But that's just me - there may be a reason for you to stay if that's the case.

Maybe you should all read Chapter VII of D.H. Lawrence's Studies in Classic American Literature: Nathaniel Hawthorne. Not as a gospel of course but as something worth considering. The whole book is on Google and is well worth reading.