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40 things You'll Never Hear In Johnston County North Carolina

 
 
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 10:24 am
40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.

39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

38. Duct tape won't fix that.

37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

35. We don't keep firearms in this house.

34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

33. You can't feed that to the dog.

32. I thought Graceland was tacky.

31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

30. Wrasslin's fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

28. We're vegetarians.

27. Do you think my gut is too big?

26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

25. Honey, we don't need another dog.

24. Who's Richard Petty?

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.

18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

17. The tires on that truck are too big.

16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

15. I've got it all on the C drive.

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?

12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

09. Checkmate.

08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

05. I don't have a favorite college team.

04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.




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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 721 • Replies: 16

 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 11:10 am
Say, who is Richard Petty? (Re: #24)
0 Replies
 
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 11:17 am
@Bi-Polar Bear,
on the money

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHaaaaw

Now find me 40 you'll never hear in Groton Connecticut
George
 
  3  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 11:24 am
@panzade,
40. We'll be starting the college search in Johnston County, North Carolina.
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 12:07 pm
@George,
39. What's this Grey Poupon crap? Don't you have any regular mustard?
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 12:19 pm
38. Even with all this Blue Ribbon she's too fat to hook up with...
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 12:50 pm
@Merry Andrew,
Merry Andrew wrote:

39. What's this Grey Poupon crap? Don't you have any regular mustard?


I think you have that bass ackwards MA.



37. Well, just like that Immanuel Kant feller said "All thought must, directly or indirectly, by way of certain characters, relate ultimately to intuitions, and therefore, with us, to sensibility, because in no other way can an object be given to us. "
panzade
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 02:02 pm
@George,
39. Honey, would you be so kind as to pass me the grits?
George
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 02:09 pm
@panzade,
38. Does this NASCAR jacket make me look fat?
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 02:51 pm
Anybody seen my other front tooth?
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 02:56 pm
@edgarblythe,
36 I really don't want my son to try out for football.

He might get hurt.
0 Replies
 
kuvasz
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 04:03 pm
@Bi-Polar Bear,
1AA. Nope, no Klan 'round these parts.
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2009 10:12 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
Merry Andrew wrote:

39. What's this Grey Poupon crap? Don't you have any regular mustard?


I think you have that bass ackwards MA.


I don't think so. It's what you wouldn't hear in Groton, CT.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2009 09:05 am
@Merry Andrew,
Merry Andrew wrote:

Quote:
Merry Andrew wrote:

39. What's this Grey Poupon crap? Don't you have any regular mustard?


I think you have that bass ackwards MA.


I don't think so. It's what you wouldn't hear in Groton, CT.


No MA, that is saying they would WANT Grey Poupon.

What you WOULDN'T hear them say is, "What's with this reg'lar yellar mustard? Whar's the Grey Poupon?"


If given Grey Poupon, they would definatly say "what's this fancy stuff? where's the french's yellow mustard?"
George
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2009 09:11 am
@chai2,
There are two different lists on this thread.
List 1 (subject of the thread): 40 things you'll never hear in Johnston Co., NC.
List 2 (digression instigated by panzade) : 40 things you'll never hear in Groton, CT.

His Merriment is contributing to List 2.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2009 09:25 am
@George,
Well ****.

apologies to MA.
panzade
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2009 09:34 am
@chai2,
apologies to chai for my smart-ass second list. I just thought it would be fun. I shouldda started another thread
0 Replies
 
 

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