@playstate09,
Quote:well yea i love my wife but i feel like the love is dying.
If it’s not growing, it’s dying...that goes for both the relationship, and love.
Think about what that means.
Quote:My wife works a normal 8am to 4pm job monday thru friday, and i work sunday thru thursday from 7 am to 330pm but someday i can work later. On monday, wednesday, thursday, and saturday my wife is in church so most of the time i'm at home with my son. Then by the time she does come home i'm tired or she is on the phone with somebody.
That really does sound like an excessive church schedule, and it’s contributing to your marriage going downhill...either she doesn’t realise the amount of time she spends in church is contributing to you marriage dying, or as sully said, she may be hiding behind her schedule. It could be both.
Quote:I try to talk to my wife when she is here but i don't really have a lot to talk about and then she get mad cause i don't communicate with her but if i don't have anything to say then i'm not gonna talk. Then she says that i don't spend any time with her and she doesn't consider us being in the same room as spending time.
Communication skills can be learnt. It may be that you both need to spend time learning to communicate (there’s only ever 3 things you do when communicating : Listen, Ask Questions, and Tell stories " everything you say tells a story btw. )
Quote:We have been living from paycheck to paycheck since we have been married.
If you haven’t got a budget then this will probably add to your problems and unhappiness. Budgets are tough to live by when money is tight, but if you do, they do save a lot of arguments / conflict.
Quote:When i comes to conflict she says i show no emotions and she gets upset when i'm like that but i'm the type of person that is lay back and i don't get upset over certain things.
At a guess, you may find you are laid back because you prefer to avoid conflict (either you don’t see the need for it, you don’t like it, or you want everyone to be happy). I used to be like this (well, I’m still laid back, but I’m always aware of when . It’s actually unhealthy because, naturally, you won’t always agree with the other person. And naturally, sometimes something the other person does will upset you (whether or not you know it), or sometimes they will invade your world (your unique perception of what your life entails)...and you will need to let them know they can’t do that. It’s honesty that leads to people engaging in conflict - and self deception that leads to us doing it badly.
Quote:The biggest issues in r marriage r communication, the fact that i don't tell her how i feel, and that i don't show her any affection.
Reminds me a lot of how I used to be. The lack of affection was the flip side of the lack of conflict coin.
Quote:I've been trying to change my way for the past five years but i keep going back to my old self.
Don’t change " grow. Find out what your weaknesses and strengths are, and build them up. Find out who you are, and train yourself to a higher standard. Find out what your unique skill is and make it even better. Teach yourself things you aren’t comfortable with, and make a written goal (if your hearts not in this it won’t work half so well) of what you are going to achieve each day.
And while you are going about growing, remember to always be true to yourself. Changes done for the self are permanent. Changes done for others rarely are (unless we find that we enjoy them, in which case they become done for ourselves)
There are other ways to achieve growth " Self Hypnosis, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Creative Visualisation, Meditation, exercise, practice, breathing exercises, counselling, studying.
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