Washington Post MENSA Annual Daffynitions

DAFFYNITIONS

Here's the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Feel free to post your own Daffynition!

The winners are:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.


Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.


Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people which stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.


Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.


Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.


Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


Osteopornosis: A degenerate
disease. (This one got extra credit.)


Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.


Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.



Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.


Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.


Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.


Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.



The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words. And the winners are:


Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.


Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.


Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.


Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown .


Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.


Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.


Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
run over by a steamroller.


Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.


Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.